Monday, July 11, 2005

It's a go

Can you say "Whoa!?!"

It seems that over the weekend I went from zero to boyfriend in light speed. Well, maybe not "boyfriend." More like being in a budding relationship. I still don't know why it happened but it doesn't really matter. She'll tell me when she's ready. We will have to be very careful of the communications issue and I've discovered that the cultural differences can be interesting. For example...

Last night my family went out to do a birthday dinner for my brother. His birthday is actual today but it's easier to do a family thing on a weekend. After dinner I called and asked if I could swing by her place since I was basically in the neighborhood. Her parents are visiting her and I've wanted to meet them for a while anyway. Before I got there I stopped off and bought a small bouquet of flowers for her mother and a small bunch of pink roses for her. Rose colors have some kind of meaning about them but I don't know anything about that and hoped she didn't either. Anyway, I got there and gave the flowers, which went over quite well. We spent a time just talking, well I talked and she translated to her folks. <Side note>Turns out that her Pops is a famous composer who's career started in the 50's.< /> When it came time to leave and thanks and goodbye's had been said and I ask her if she'd walk me to the car. I asked because I thought she might be hesitant about getting a hug and smooch in front of her folks. When I mentioned this she said something to the effect of, "No! Not in public, people might see. We should have done this inside." Of course, I found this very amusing and couldn't stifle a small [medium] laugh. She asked if we could get in the car and drive around the block away from her neighbors. Even then it was a hug and smooch in the car, just in case. I'm guessing that cultural differences like this will come up again from time to time. My history of growing up in two cultures and of directly experiencing multi-cultural situations and people will, I hope, be a helpful asset.

The one thing that is going to be the most difficult, in my humble opinion, will be the language difference. She is fairly competent in English but not yet what you'd call a "native speaker." For my part, I tend to speak in colloquialisms, slang, euphemisms and metaphors. And I talk to fast. It's not uncommon for normal English speaking humans to have difficulty understanding me. Techies have no problems at all, of course. So I will need to try and talk more better language with her. <Another side note> My writing style is much different that my speech. I write at a higher level and with more elucidation than when I speak.< /> I am also going to learn her native tongue as best I can. It will be very helpful that she has a teenage daughter who can translate/interpret for us. At least some of the time.

So, bottom line is I'm in the beginnings/middle of a relationship. This is a very good thing<TM>. I think I've gotten a handle on my feelings and fears and hopes and dreads now. I have only one concern; How will she react when she finds out the extent of my physical condition? After all, what woman would want to be with a guy who's slowly headed to a wheelchair?


  1. 1. Congrats!

    2. She doesn't know about your disabilities?

  2. 1a. Thank you.

    2a. She knows but I don't believe she realizes the extent.

    There's a possibility that I will be in a chair by the end of the year. It's a small possibility, but none the less there.

    It might be a while before we can really talk about this, too. Unless she can find some time during the week to get together I might not see her until after the first week in August. Weekends are always tight and the family is going to be in PA the end of July and early August for a family reunion. Last year there were some 150+ people there. This year looks like it could have over 300. Man, can we Italian procreate! :-)