Monday, August 08, 2005

Can I really be so different?

Ok, I know I'm not quite on the same page of music that the rest of the world is on but lately it seems I'm not even on the same stage. Maybe it's time to call the shrink again. I'll do that after I go in about the chest pains and shortness of breath. i.e. Not until I'm on a slab. You know the whole time I was in Pittsburgh I smoked maybe 4 cigarettes a day. And I couldn't catch my breath for anything. Just getting up out of a chair and I was completely winded. Now that I'm back I'm doing a pack a day again but breathing fine. Go figure. It's a good thing my bank account is empty now. I just don't have any money to buy any more.

Anyway, back to my sanity thing.

I had a long talk with ZY and she's having some difficulties that are really stressing her out. The thing is that I could absorb all that stress and it would be like spitin' in the ocean. There's just so much I can do for her if I had a chance. There's so much I could show her. Even so, there's things that she's dealing with that are just ridiculously stupid. Not that what she's going through is stupid, the fact that it's happening in the first place is insane. At least it seems so to me. It's like, "What the fuck? Over." This reality is so tied up with it's petty little things and it just spreads to everyone and then we're stuck in the petty little things, too. Maybe it's because I watched The Matrix and Ella Enchanted today. Never Never Land is closer than you think.

Wait. I can't make any sense of this. My brain's fried. No sleep. No hope. And my son is not here in my arms.

I gotta listen to some "head clearing music" for a bit. Skynyrd, Pronounced. Yeah, that'll do. Tuesdays Gone, Simple Man, Free Bird. Maybe then I can make sense of things.

Or not.

2 comments:

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