One of the things that my mother has mentioned is for her to move in with us. This is a good idea, I think. But the house I'm in now isn't really big enough. With some very tight maneuvering I think I can get the computers out of the third bedroom. She has been looking for a place in the area that we could rent, or even maybe buy, but there's nothing that we can afford together with me not having a job. One other suggestion would be to move out to the west into the panhandle. It'd be about four or five hours away from where we are now. Houses there are going for $80K! The dinky little place I'm in now is valued at somewhere around $320K. If she and I move out there we could live on our retirement pay and not worry about me having to get a job in order for us to survive. Additionally, the word is that the tech firms in the Research Triangle area of NC are moving up here due to the high cost of real estate there. I could find a job doing consulting or something, just to keep busy and make some extra dough. I like the idea, really, but it would mean changing the custody arrangement again. We'd have to do something like having him spend all the school year with me then all of the summer with her. No alternating weekends. I don't like the idea of him being gone from me for 3 months. I couldn't take it the 4 weeks when I was in PA.
So the options come down to this;
- stay here, move mum in and try to shoehorn everything into this place hoping a job comes along
- move to the panhandle where the financial problems will be negated by the much lower cost of living but not have my son for 3 months a year
But there's one more thing about moving way out. I'm becoming so much of a hermit lately that I don't want to be around any people. Exceptions being family and my lady. But that's not really likely to go anywhere. She may have found some feelings for me but in the end I don't think I'm the guy she wants/needs in her life. Moving out to BFE will probably cause me to become even less social than I am now (though that's hard to imagine). Even with everything against me I still want to have a wife and family. I have no problem with mum living with me, it's much more natural in European cultures than here in the States. If my dad were still here...
Oh, man, don't start down that path. It's been, what, five years and seven months since he passed. I can't help thinking that if he were still here my mother and I wouldn't be in this mess. I miss him so much.
Anyway, that's the sich! What to do, what to do.