Wednesday, November 30, 2005

[clubsack] banned Xbox 360 ad

-------- Forwarded Message --------
From: Stephen <...@...>
To: clubsacc
Subject: [clubsack] banned Xbox 360 ad
Date: Wed, 30 Nov 2005 14:34:35 -0500

Friday, November 25, 2005


I'm feeling better. Don't call out the army.

If I remember to I'll post what happened at the doctor (and afterwords) tomorrow.

And for those who don't know what the title is referring to just go to this link on the IMDB and search for "defcon".

Very, very bad

Today is not a good day. Nothing particularly bad has happened (other than a pathetic performance in the Fantasy Sumo Game I play) and I don't foresee anything bad coming up. The problem is that I just don't want to do anything today. And I mean anything. I'm here typing this to keep from curling up in a ball in the closet. I don't know what happened or why I'm feeling this but I haven't felt this depressed since I sent myself to the psychologist last year. If I were alone in this world I would be seriously thinking about calling it a day. Thankfully I am not alone in that my son is my anchor. He should be back tomorrow evening. I hope I can last that long.

Damn! This is really bothering me. I have never thought of, the phrase used by the medical people is, "Hurting Myself or Others" before. The closest I had come was thinking about thinking about it (if you know what I mean). But today... I don't know. I don't understand.

I'm seeing a Neurologist at 1500 EST today. Maybe I'll be feeling better by then.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Micro Heart Attacks - What Are They?

Or more importantly, do they exist.

For months now I have been having chest pain. It usually comes as a sharp pain in the heart area but doesn't last for more than a second or two. The problem I have is that with all the other medical things going on I'm a little worried that they maybe masking something. The only symptom I have that isn't something I've already had for over 12 years now is extreme shortness of breath. I was never in good shape, well not recently anyway, but i could get out of bed and stand up without losing breath and needed a few minutes just to catch my breath. The only reason this bothers me is that a guy I used to work with had strange and very sudden extreme shortness of breath and they had him under the knife right away. It was a good thing, too, as he was a massive heart attack waiting to happen. That's all I'd need is a heart attack. My life sucks enough but I'll be damned if I'm ready to put this kind of burden on my son. Losing a parent is traumatic no matter the age of the parent & child. But it's harder on little kids and teens. There's so much I want to see and do with him. If things don't get better I'll call the doctor on Friday.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

It's been a while...

Not the Stained song, though. I have been pretty bad at keeping this blog updated. Lots of stuff has been going on. Nothing extreme but stuff I should put up. Maybe it's the blues. The anti-psychotic... uh, I mean anti-depressants aren't helping to much. Maybe tonight I'll post a "oh poor Joe has it bad" entry. Or not.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

This'll be fun

Somehow I got talked into running for PTA president at my sons school. Since the rest of the world has a little common sense, no one ran against me so I won. I don't know if I have the right temperament to do this kind of task but more important is the question of whether I will have the resources, both physically and mentally, to do the job. We'll see how it goes but I smell a faint whiff of smoke that could be preceding a real crash-n-burn on this one. The first PTA meeting is tonight.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Spinnin' my wheels

I'm going in circles.

Every day I do nothing and every day nothing does me.

Tomorrow (the 12th) I turn 43. That makes me, well, middle-aged I guess. I'm not old but I'm definitely not young. When I came to this country I was 25 years old. I was also about 75 pounds lighter but that's beside the point. At 25 you think you're an adult and ready for the world. And you are, to some extent. But you aren't ready for the world to just blaze past you like Kimi in his McLaren-Mercedes. Half of my 20's and all of my 30's are gone. Where? Hell, I don't have a clue.

When I came here I didn't have a job or friends or anything outside of my family. Today, I am in almost the same boat. Except that now I have a passenger in the form of a soon-to-be 9 year old son. Oh I have friends now. Or, more accurately, I have drifted through some friendships over the years. But it seems that once the direct contact is lost they fade away into the past. Glen. Bruce. Erik (but only a little bit). Now John and Rick will likely be added to the list. And there's more names, I just can't remember anything because I am extremely tired. I should have been asleep almost 4 hours ago. I can hardly see the monitor my eyes are so tired.

To top it all off my body has given out on me. At this point I'm fairly sure than some of the mess I'm in is due to the abuse I put it through when I was young and indestructible. But I'm not Captain Scarlet. None of us are. So not there's all kinds of shit broken or damaged that could have been prevented. But that's water under the bridge. The best I can do is to help my son to not do the same things I did. Or at least lead a slightly healthier lifestyle than I did. So far I'm not doing all that good a job.

Got a new furness today. Or is it a heat pump. I don't know. All I know is that about two weeks ago the heat stopped working. Thankfully we're having another Indian Summer so it hasn't been a real problem. here have been a few cold nights when I had to turn on the oven to warm up the place enough to live in. And yes, I know how dangerous it is to leave a gas oven running overnight with he door open. But the new one is in and we're snug as a bug in a rug.

Still hooked on Killzone. My mom was not happy at all when she found out that the game is rated M. My son is the master of the game in this house. I do ok but he's got those PS2 enabled fingers. Even if my fingers worked right they'd still never be a match to his. I am doing alright in it, though. Killzone 2 is supposed to be coming out next year (2006) sometime. I hope it's 1st quarter.

Man, I am so tired I can't see straight. It doesn't help that my glasses aren't quite right. I have an appointment someday next week (I think, we'll have to check jpilot to be sure).

Whoops! Fell out in the chair in front of the computer. Guess I'll take another crack at sleeping in the bed.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

and put up a parking lot

Ever have one of those days when a song gets stuck in your head? If you're lucky it's a song you like. But more often than not it's a song you either don't like or outright hate. Occasionally it's a song you are indifferent to. That's what I had today. Over and over in my head I'm hearing...

"They paved paradise
and put up a parking lot"

Oh well.

Friday, November 04, 2005

I'm Burnin' For You down the Highway To Hell

Back a few weeks ago I was listening to the radio and there were two guys debating the relative impact that Blue Oyster Cult has had on music. One was taking the position that, while BOC has produced some great and alltime classic songs, they haven't had an effect on music the way some other bands/artists had. Of course the other guy took the opposing view. While I didn't listen to it for to long a time (I want music or news on my car radio, period) it got me thinking about the question at hand; what makes a musical artists influential?
  • There are those that change the course of music: the Beatles, Elvis, Hendrix, Sabbath, Van Halen, Nirvana

  • There are those who have more subtle, though no less serious, effects: Metallica, CCR, Skynyrd, SRV, Deep Purple, Scorpions, Thin Lizzy

  • Then there are those who just crank out serious Rock 'n' Roll: AC/DC, Boston, Kiss, REO, Styx, Ted Nugent, ZZ top
I believe that BOC definitely falls into the third category. And if you ask me, the world needs more BOC's and AC/DC's and the like. It's music. There's nothing wrong with being a Bob Dylan or a Paul McCartney. Making change in music, culture and even society is a good thing. But sometimes... I'll let the boys from down under say it.

"Rock 'n' Roll ain't noise pollution
Rock 'n' Roll ain't gonna die
Rock 'n' Roll ain't noise pollution
Rock 'n' Roll
Rock 'n' Roll
is just Rock 'n' Roll, yeah