Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Aimlessly wandering through my thoughts

There are so many things I've been wanting to write about lately. I just can't seem to get up the gumption to sit down and do it. It hasn't helped that I've been having some very severe headaches. They just started up out-of-the-blue a few days ago. It feels like there's something behind my left eye that putting pressure on everything, especially the eye. I've also been feeling like my body is made of led or concrete. It's very difficult to move and even if I'm just sitting or laying it's like my insides are being crushed. Yeah, yeah, I know... I should call the doctor. I'm just so tired of dealing with them. It's all like, left/right, up/down, take this/don't take this, do this/don't do this. Blah, blah, blah. I'm going to have to do it anyway, though. I probably got a brain tumor or something stupid like that. And to top it all off my intestines are all knotted up like a rock.

Rejoining my initial thought, what are some of the things I wanted to write about? I can't remember. I keep waffling about writing something about the current "fun" happenings in the Middle East. What good would it do, though? I know I'd be pissing off someone (more like everyone) with my point-of-view, as always. I've come to find that if there's a polarized subject/issue/topic I can generally tweak off both sides to the point where they accuse me of being the other. For example, on the few occasions I enter a discussion about politics, I'll say the same thing to everyone yet all Republicans/Conservatives will call me a flaming Liberal while the Democrats/Liberals all lump me with the hard core Conservative. This is one way with which I can tell I'm on the right track. With this current thing in Lebanon I find that I have as strong of a dislike for the Israelis as I do for the Palestinians. Not the people in general, just those who are in power. The ones who are feeding the hate. And I'm none to thrilled with the Persians, either, as I think they have a good part in causing the current fighting. The biggest problem with this whole thing is that it's not about Nationalism or Religion or any of the other BS reasons both sides give. It's a blood feud. "We will kill them because they kill us!" It's like Ireland or the former Eastern Block countries. Kill them all, no matter what. The Israelis try to justify what they are doing in the name of protection and moral rightness as their claim to the pile of dirt is proper and can be proven. The Palestinians don't give a crap about any of that because the dirt is theirs by right. Period. Oh, they have all kinds of things they say but the bottom line is they don't care about any of that anymore. They just want to kill the other ones. Man, I wasn't going to go into all this stuff here. Oh well.

Lately I've found myself becoming very peeved about not being able to play guitar anymore. My hands and arms are so deteriorated it's impossible. Heck, I can't even hold one up anymore. I miss playing quite a bit. I was never what you'd call a Guitar God or anything. I could pluck a few tunes and lay down some blues. But playing, especially with the distortion cranked up and the volume as high as possible, was like a catharsis for me. It helped gets the melodies in my head out. I've tried playing the harmonica and that's quite fun, but no matter how I start I always end up in a blues riff. That's not a really bad thing, I like the blues. But it keeps the rest of the stuff locked in my head.

I did start writing a pseudo-fictional story just for fun. It's set in the late 70's or early 80's and centers around a guy who's trying to figure out what he's doing while spending most of his time doing nothing or getting stoned. Not quite autobiographical but, like they say in Hollywood - "Based on a true story." I'm not sure how it will turn out as the few times I have tried to write fiction ended up really bad. I do ok writing articles and interviews (for techie stuff) but free flowing ideas and words are a tad intimidating.

I've been putting off doing something that needs to be done. When I do it, there's going to be all kinds of hell to pay and I'm anticipating lots of pain and anguish. But it has to be done and I'm running out of time. I'll see if I can't get it started this week. $DEITY help me get through this.


  1. I dunno, Joe. I suspect you can hold a guitar pick in one hand and a glass slide in the other, then do the slide guitar blues thing just fine. No fingerin' involved.

    You could also tune the guitar so it defaults to some version of a bar chord. One finger or the side of your hand is all you'd need to make some noise.

    Just a thought, you neo-pinko-conservative-bed-wetting-liberal-commie-nazi guy, you. :)

  2. I can hold the pick in my right hand but I can't do the slide with my left. My left side is the whole arm & shoulder (as well as the hip, leg, foot, etc). I've tried it and I can't even hold the guitar, even while sitting. I'd hoped to try and learn the keyboards but things have turned, a-hem, difficult around here lately.

    As for the de-tuning of the guitar, that's a cool thing to do. Dolly Parton did/does that so she can play while still keeping her how-many-inches fingernails.

    What's a good insulting name calling name to call a flaming liberal? ;-)