Sunday, July 29, 2007

It's been a hard nights day

As I am typing this the local time is 04:57. I feel like $#it and probably look it, too. My sleep cycle has gone off the deep end and it's keeping me up all night (like this).

Making things doubly difficult, my son is with his mother and her whole family on a cruise through the Caribbean. I don't begrudge him this. I'm quite happy he's going. If I were able we'd be visiting the old country and wandering throughout Germany & Italy (and likely other countries I've previously been to in Europe. I feel strongly that my experience growing up in Europe and moving every 4 or 5 years was a great benefit for me and my siblings. It's almost unthinkable that I've lived here in the Northern VA area for 19 years) It's a wonder I ever came back from my trip to Thailand in Feb 2002. Well, not that much of a wonder. If I didn't have my son I could have easily just stayed. But if it's a choice of my son or anything else I'll pick him.

So he's going to be gone for a little over a week. This could be a good time to see what it's like without him. See, he's been living with me since he started grade 1 but for grade 5 he'll live with his mother and I'll see him every other weekend. It will be very hard but much good can come out of it. I hope. It will all depend on his mother. She's never had to bare the cost of having a child. Nor the time involved with having one under foot 24/7. I'm certainly not the greatest dad in the world, largely due to my physical condition, but I think I'm doing ok. There's really only two negative things that could happen with this switch; she can't handle it and sends him back to me or he can't deal with not having other kids around to play with. A number of people think that the former is likely to happen.

As for me, I see this as a good thing. She is his mother and has spend nearly 5 years having him for only three months in the summer and on every other weekend. I know she loves him very much so I'm not worried about anything happening between them (if we had had a girl then I would be worried; you should see what my two nieces put their parents through). Right now the plan is for him to come back here for 6th grade but we'll evaluate that when the time comes.

I better get to bed now. I'm falling asleep at the wheel, here. Don't need to be conking my head on the furniture again,

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