Monday, June 02, 2008

Seven Ways to Keep Your Man

I was watching a repeat of the Tyra Banks Show (I seriously love Tyra) and the topic for the day was how to keep your man from leaving. Seems there's some occasions where a guy breaks up with a girl and she has no idea why. She had seven guys who had broken up with their girlfriends for various reasons plus a team of "experts" on relationships. I thought it was interesting so here's the list and some comments on it.

1) Don't go longer than 2 weeks without sex - This is more about not using sex as a bargaining tool. Sometimes women, when they get into a "disagreement" with their guys or want them to do something, will withhold sex. Making sex a part of the "battle" will do nothing but drive a wedge between you. Sex should be for love and enjoyment (and occasionally making babies). This goes for adults in a mature relationship that is already intimate.

2) Don't be a bitch - No picking at, nagging, complaining about or any other "bitchy-like" behavior. The only thing you're going to get out of this is dumped.

3) Don't be clingy - It's good to let men have a little guy time. The occasional boys night out or letting them have their man cave is good. But more specifically, no calling every 15 minutes or checking up on them or dragging them to something completely out of their realm (the example on the show was don't drag your guy with you to get your hair done). Like the old adage, the tighter you hold the more they move away.

4) Trust or get out - This one simply means if you don't trust your guy, especially to the point of spying on them, then you're not in a healthy relationship. If you are digging through his email or checking all his phone numbers or even following him around then either he's no good for you or your paranoid. Either way break off the relationship.

5) Keep it fresh - Don't get into a rut. Plan a date night or the like. The number one recommendation from the show was "Lingerie." Variation and surprise were the rule-of-thumb.

6) Don't let money rule your heart - If the only reason you like a guy is how much he can buy for you then you're likely going to be single soon. IOW, no gold digging.

7) Love yourself - If you don't like who you are how is anyone else supposed to? Self confidence and self assurance are very strong attractors for both genders.

And lest we forget the women, here's three good rules for when to get out of a relationship.

1) Never stay in an abusive relationship - While this might seem like common sense the fact is many women will stay with an abuser thinking they will change him. While you may love him if he's physically, mentally or psychologically abusing you then he doesn't love you.

2) Leave controlling men - In my opinion I feel that this falls under abusive behavior. A controller is just using physical and emotional tactics to get their way.

3) Leave if you find evidence of cheating - There are some basic indicators that cheating lovers usually exhibit. This doesn't mean forgetting #4 above but if you have evidence of cheating then it's time to bail.

And there you have it. If you keep to these general rules then your man will be happy at home. Unless he's a psycho or something.

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