Monday, January 14, 2008

Comments on the "90/10 Rule" and Respect

Just ran across a blog post on the FatherlYours blog about the 90/10 Rule.

This version of the rule is basically 10% of life is made up of what happens to you; 90% is decided by how you react. An example is gives in the post. But there is another variation of the 90/10 Rule. One that seems to have been completely forgotten in our 'Net time world. It pertains to marriage.

In a marriage, each spouse should go into the relationship with the idea that they will be giving 90% and receiving 10% out of the marriage. I repete, each spouse must give 90% and expect only 10% from their partner. If this is the attitude that you go into marriage with it's likely that you will have a much better marriage than if you go in expecting everything for them selves.

This is also tangential to the perception of respect. In todays world everyone has an expectation that respect is to be given. Even demanded. Respect is earned. We must all do 90% of the work to earn respect. The 10% is do to things like looks, charisma, knowledge and other superficial aspects.

Happiness is in giving. Misery is in taking.