Life is really kickin' me in the teeth. I haven't heard anything from the guys in PA, though they are set to pay me through May. My financial situation has come to a head. With the severe loss of income going back as far as last September I have gotten myself in a really big hole. My checking account is perpetually in the red now and the money coming in isn't enough to get out. I know how it happened but I don't know how to get out. Due to income limitations enforced by OPM I will never be able to make more than $41K/yr gross. My disability annuity is just under $20K/yr gross. Now $61K doesn't sound to bad (though if I were healthy I could be earning around $100K). The problem is that this is the theoretical maximum I can earn. In reality, due to sick days and now 4 months of unemployment, my actual take-home pay is closer to $35K net. With the debts I have due to the whole "Year From HellTM" and the subsequent unemployment for two years (not to mention being homeless for one of those year) almost all of the money I get is sucked up really fast. Now I have bills that are two and three months late. Add to that a $10.8K credit card debt (again, thanks to the "Year From HellTM") and there's nothing left for anything other than rent. The thing that really burns me is that I can't just go out and get any old job. I can't even push burgers & fries. My disability is now to the point where I can't even cook dinner or load the dish washer or do laundry anything like that. I'm becoming a hermit, trapped in my home. If it weren't for my son I'd probably just waste my life away on some park bench.
It feels like I'm stuck in quicksand. I'm going down for the third time and there's no one at the lifeguard station.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Musings on the Malaysian Grand Prix
So far this season is not exactly burning up the track. I don't like the new rules for tires and engines. It was so hot during this race that no one wanted to do any hard driving for fear of losing their tires. Fernando Alonso started at poll and pretty much went wire to wire to win the race. The interesting news was that both the Toyota and Red Bull (nee Jordan) teams finished in the points while Ferrari had another dismal outing. They are planning on running the F2005 in Bahrain so maybe we'll see some more of the red cars in the points.
Anyway, that's good enough for now. You can find more info on the F1 site at http://www.formula1.com/.
Anyway, that's good enough for now. You can find more info on the F1 site at http://www.formula1.com/.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Minor rant on the Australian Grand Prix
I don't feel like doing an in depth commentary so here's a quick rant.
First the results; Giancarlo Fisichella won for only the second time in his carrier. The first one was a back-handed win in Brazil a number of years ago. This was his first real "I get to stand on the podium" win. Michael started last due to an engine change and didn't finish the race. Ferrari still got a 2nd place with good ol' Rubens Barrichello. The only other thing of note was David Coulthard finishing 4th and Christian Klien taking 7th to give the brand new Red Bull Racing team enough points to put them 3rd in the constructors race. But even with this the race was quite uneventful.
Now, on to the rant; Here we have another F1 season just beginning. And what would be an F1 season without some new anti-Schumacher-Ferrari rule changes. This is the third year that the FIA has passed idiotic rule changes just to keep the champions from winning. This year, among others, there's a new rule that you have to keep the same set of tired from practice through the race and you have to use the same engine from practice through two races. I'm waiting for the "everyone gets to use F1 spec engines but Ferrari much use go-cart engines" rule. Or the "the Ferrari team has to start each race with -10 points, -7 for Michael and -3 for Rubens" rule.
Anyway, with luck Malaysia will be more interesting.
First the results; Giancarlo Fisichella won for only the second time in his carrier. The first one was a back-handed win in Brazil a number of years ago. This was his first real "I get to stand on the podium" win. Michael started last due to an engine change and didn't finish the race. Ferrari still got a 2nd place with good ol' Rubens Barrichello. The only other thing of note was David Coulthard finishing 4th and Christian Klien taking 7th to give the brand new Red Bull Racing team enough points to put them 3rd in the constructors race. But even with this the race was quite uneventful.
Now, on to the rant; Here we have another F1 season just beginning. And what would be an F1 season without some new anti-Schumacher-Ferrari rule changes. This is the third year that the FIA has passed idiotic rule changes just to keep the champions from winning. This year, among others, there's a new rule that you have to keep the same set of tired from practice through the race and you have to use the same engine from practice through two races. I'm waiting for the "everyone gets to use F1 spec engines but Ferrari much use go-cart engines" rule. Or the "the Ferrari team has to start each race with -10 points, -7 for Michael and -3 for Rubens" rule.
Anyway, with luck Malaysia will be more interesting.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Migrating and developing new applications for Linux
IBM is having a couple of one day or half day sessions on various topics through it's IBM developerWorks program. One of the topics in their "Technical briefings" series is "Migrating and developing new applications for Linux". Specifically -
"Migrating and developing new applications for Linux"
2005 Mar 08 (09:00 to 12:45)
Washington DC Area, District of Columbia, United States IBM Facility
12902 Federal Systems Park Drive
Fairfax, VA 22033
You can find a map for it on Google Maps.
The main page for all of the IBM developerWorks Technical briefings and Events is at http://www-106.ibm.com/developerworks/offers/techbriefings/.
I don't know how I'm going to get there but I am going to try for this specific event.
"Migrating and developing new applications for Linux"
2005 Mar 08 (09:00 to 12:45)
Washington DC Area, District of Columbia, United States IBM Facility
12902 Federal Systems Park Drive
Fairfax, VA 22033
You can find a map for it on Google Maps.
The main page for all of the IBM developerWorks Technical briefings and Events is at http://www-106.ibm.com/developerworks/offers/techbriefings/.
I don't know how I'm going to get there but I am going to try for this specific event.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
The ups and downs
Ever notice how people tend to use a roller coaster as the metaphor for life's travels? The whole up and down thing is understandable. But life tends to be a lot less forgiving than an amusement part ride. The ups and downs in life are far more intense and have much less warning. Closer to a rocket shot; straight up and straight down.
Right now I'm in the middle of limbo. The job in PA went very well but was a real killer. Nearly 4 weeks in a hotel away from my son... That's far to long a time to be away. Now I'm in wait state while the sales people are working out another gig. I did get my first paycheck from the new job and it was almost enough to catch me up on things. But I need new glasses and had to put down half for them to start making them. Now the glasses are in but I can't pick them up till I get more money in. Heh, as a side note this prescription is bifocal. Damn I'm getting old.
On a good note I have been on two dates since I got back. One was with the Chinese lady friend from way back. The other with a setup through that Together Dating. They both were nice and I hope to see them both again. I'm pretty sure I'll see the former but can only hope about the latter. The funny thing is I have four more "introductions" in my bag. I've setup dates with three of them but still need to touch base with the fourth. Next weekend is going to be very busy.
What else... I'm still hoping to start my plan. It's not going to be easy as it's far more likely I'll spend the days lying on the couch watching TV than trying to re-learn programming. It would be good for me if I did get back into hacking, though. And it is something I really like. The lack or motivation and, more critically, discipline is what's holding me back. I know it. You know it. Everyone knows it. But lazy is more than just a state of mind. It's a way of life. Well, for some of us it is.
Oh, before I forget, I started smoking the Eclipse cigarettes again. The Wellbutrin was working wonderfully but I ran out of the prescription while up in PA and the stress from the training and being away from my son was to much. I need to call the doctor and get it renewed this week.
Anyway, them's the highlights. I'll try and get on here more often but don't hold your breath. Remember, lazy is a way of life.
Right now I'm in the middle of limbo. The job in PA went very well but was a real killer. Nearly 4 weeks in a hotel away from my son... That's far to long a time to be away. Now I'm in wait state while the sales people are working out another gig. I did get my first paycheck from the new job and it was almost enough to catch me up on things. But I need new glasses and had to put down half for them to start making them. Now the glasses are in but I can't pick them up till I get more money in. Heh, as a side note this prescription is bifocal. Damn I'm getting old.
On a good note I have been on two dates since I got back. One was with the Chinese lady friend from way back. The other with a setup through that Together Dating. They both were nice and I hope to see them both again. I'm pretty sure I'll see the former but can only hope about the latter. The funny thing is I have four more "introductions" in my bag. I've setup dates with three of them but still need to touch base with the fourth. Next weekend is going to be very busy.
What else... I'm still hoping to start my plan. It's not going to be easy as it's far more likely I'll spend the days lying on the couch watching TV than trying to re-learn programming. It would be good for me if I did get back into hacking, though. And it is something I really like. The lack or motivation and, more critically, discipline is what's holding me back. I know it. You know it. Everyone knows it. But lazy is more than just a state of mind. It's a way of life. Well, for some of us it is.
Oh, before I forget, I started smoking the Eclipse cigarettes again. The Wellbutrin was working wonderfully but I ran out of the prescription while up in PA and the stress from the training and being away from my son was to much. I need to call the doctor and get it renewed this week.
Anyway, them's the highlights. I'll try and get on here more often but don't hold your breath. Remember, lazy is a way of life.
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Teen driving
Still stuck in the hotel, I'm flipping through the channels and run across Teen Kids News where teens product and report on different issues related to teens. One of the segments was on teen driving. The numbers and stats all show that, for teens between 15 and 18, traffic accidents are the #1 cause of death and injury. Most teens feel that they are good drivers and can (and should) be aloud to drive unrestricted once they pass their drivers test. Some states are implementing something called Graduated Drivers licenses (GDLs). These vary from state to state but generally have restricted driving hours, restricting the number of teen passengers and other limitations. These go until the drivers are 18 or over. The stats are that states implementing GDLs have up to 40% less teen traffic accidents/injuries/deaths.
I'm now 42 years old. But I can still remember when I got my license. It was a bit different than when kids get their licenses here in the US 'cause I got mine in Germany. I had to go through the Military driving program to get my license. This consisted of a 100 question test, 25 questions on general driving issues (rules for accidents, questions on registration, etc.), 25 on right-of-way (something that doesn't seem to exist here in the US) and 50 questions on traffic signs. Out of the 100 total questions you could not miss more than 4. Additionally you could only get your permit at 17, which limited you to being only aloud to drive with an instructor licensed driver (not just any licensed driver). You couldn't get your full license until you were 18 and passed the above test. I say all of this because even with all of these extra measures I was still an insane driver, just like every other teen driver. Taking way to many chances, driving to fast (though I rarely ever speeded because the Autobahn doesn't have a max speed limit, it does have a minimum speed limit), not paying attention and all the normal things that new teen drivers do. We have to learn to drive sometime but maybe it might be better if that sometime were later in life. I don't know when, later, maybe early 20's? Thankfully I'm not chosen to solve this issue.
A side not to the piece was the question, "Who would you feel safer with when driving a dangerous road? Another teen, your mother, your father or a grandparent." The answer kinda surprised me a little. 12% said teen, 14% said mother, 20% said father and 54% said grandparent. The reasoning was because the grandparent was such a slow driver. As I have gotten older I've seen how driving skills do get a little ragged around the edges when you get up there. My mother, who is 66 now, can still drive well but is recognizing that her night vision is getting worse and that there's a few things that are more difficult than they were years ago. When I was a teen I would have wanted my father behind the wheel. I hope that in 5 or 6 years my son will feel the same.
I'm now 42 years old. But I can still remember when I got my license. It was a bit different than when kids get their licenses here in the US 'cause I got mine in Germany. I had to go through the Military driving program to get my license. This consisted of a 100 question test, 25 questions on general driving issues (rules for accidents, questions on registration, etc.), 25 on right-of-way (something that doesn't seem to exist here in the US) and 50 questions on traffic signs. Out of the 100 total questions you could not miss more than 4. Additionally you could only get your permit at 17, which limited you to being only aloud to drive with an instructor licensed driver (not just any licensed driver). You couldn't get your full license until you were 18 and passed the above test. I say all of this because even with all of these extra measures I was still an insane driver, just like every other teen driver. Taking way to many chances, driving to fast (though I rarely ever speeded because the Autobahn doesn't have a max speed limit, it does have a minimum speed limit), not paying attention and all the normal things that new teen drivers do. We have to learn to drive sometime but maybe it might be better if that sometime were later in life. I don't know when, later, maybe early 20's? Thankfully I'm not chosen to solve this issue.
A side not to the piece was the question, "Who would you feel safer with when driving a dangerous road? Another teen, your mother, your father or a grandparent." The answer kinda surprised me a little. 12% said teen, 14% said mother, 20% said father and 54% said grandparent. The reasoning was because the grandparent was such a slow driver. As I have gotten older I've seen how driving skills do get a little ragged around the edges when you get up there. My mother, who is 66 now, can still drive well but is recognizing that her night vision is getting worse and that there's a few things that are more difficult than they were years ago. When I was a teen I would have wanted my father behind the wheel. I hope that in 5 or 6 years my son will feel the same.
Ruby on Rails and White Powder
No, it's not a gem show on a train with a cocaine chaser. From the O'Reilly site -
And on that note, I need to come up with a feedback/comment form for the training I'm doing. You know, was the material covered, did the instructor suck, was it worth attending... That kind of stuff. Unfortunately I am having a hell of a time coming up with something. Maybe I'll try google and see if I can't come up with an example or template.
As to the white powder, I'm sitting in a hotel room (blogging instead of working) surrounded by 6" to 8" of snow. The storm blew through very quickly, thank $DEITY, or else we'd have had 12" to 18". I remember the Blizzard of '94 and am not interested in playing that game again. Three feet of snow is four feet to many, if you ask me. My son is enjoying it, though. It's as easy to get him out of the snow as it is getting him out of the pool. Man, he'll stay in even though he's shivering so hard he can hardly talk and his whole body is blue. A definite water baby. Takes after his mom. While I enjoy the beach as much as the next person the whole "in the water" thing I can take or leave.
Well, it's way past my bedtime. Even though I don't have to get up for anything tomorrow, with the exception of the game (Go Steelers!), I'd prefer getting a couple of hours of sleep.
Rolling with Ruby on Rails by Curt Hibbs -- The Ruby community is abuzz about Rails, a web application framework that makes database-backed apps dead simple. What's the fuss? Is it worth the hype? Curt Hibbs shows off Rails, building a simple application that even non-Rubyists can follow.Now, I really like the design of ruby. It's got the power and abilities of perl with a clean and readable syntax like python. I just wish I had the time to learn it. Maybe with the new job I can work something out where I do some development. We'll have to see.
And on that note, I need to come up with a feedback/comment form for the training I'm doing. You know, was the material covered, did the instructor suck, was it worth attending... That kind of stuff. Unfortunately I am having a hell of a time coming up with something. Maybe I'll try google and see if I can't come up with an example or template.
As to the white powder, I'm sitting in a hotel room (blogging instead of working) surrounded by 6" to 8" of snow. The storm blew through very quickly, thank $DEITY, or else we'd have had 12" to 18". I remember the Blizzard of '94 and am not interested in playing that game again. Three feet of snow is four feet to many, if you ask me. My son is enjoying it, though. It's as easy to get him out of the snow as it is getting him out of the pool. Man, he'll stay in even though he's shivering so hard he can hardly talk and his whole body is blue. A definite water baby. Takes after his mom. While I enjoy the beach as much as the next person the whole "in the water" thing I can take or leave.
Well, it's way past my bedtime. Even though I don't have to get up for anything tomorrow, with the exception of the game (Go Steelers!), I'd prefer getting a couple of hours of sleep.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Life moves way to fast!
It's been a while since I've updated this blog. A lot has happened. Well, one thing has happened but it was a major life-altering thing. I got a job.
It's not just "a job" though. See, I've been working with and using Linux and open source since November 1991. I'm a big advocate of Linux and open source. I've participated in a number of open source projects, written articles and helped with the spreading of Linux whenever I can. This job is like a dream. I will be doing Linux/open source training, Linux/open source consulting and building Linux/open source solutions for companies. Can you believe it? I still can't. Right now I'm in PA doing three weeks of Linux training with the potential of some add-on consulting. It's been a little rough, though. It's been a while since I've done anything more than one day sessions but this first week seems to have gone well.
The one down side is that I'll be away from home for three and a half weeks. That's a long time away from my family, especially my son. That reminds me, I need to call him.
[...]
Ok, just got off the phone with him. He's doing good but misses me. I miss him very much. Thank $DEITY that my mother is there to watch him. If she wasn't I don't know if I could have taken this position. Another reason I wish I had a wife/girlfriend.
On that front, I believe that I'm going to give up looking for a woman. Not necessarily forever but for a while at least. It's to distracting. And it's not likely that I will ever find anyone anyway. Man, you know it's bad when your own mother also doesn't think I'll ever find a woman. Very depressing.
Which reminds me... I have run out of the Wellbutrin. The Doctor has said I need to see him again before continuing the prescription refilled. That's not likely to happen anytime soon as I won't be back for over two more weeks. Unfortunately the lack of the Wellbutrin has meant that I started smoking those damned Eclipse cigarettes.
Oh well, what the hell. Or as Miles says in Risky Business, sometimes you just have to say, "What the fuck."
It's not just "a job" though. See, I've been working with and using Linux and open source since November 1991. I'm a big advocate of Linux and open source. I've participated in a number of open source projects, written articles and helped with the spreading of Linux whenever I can. This job is like a dream. I will be doing Linux/open source training, Linux/open source consulting and building Linux/open source solutions for companies. Can you believe it? I still can't. Right now I'm in PA doing three weeks of Linux training with the potential of some add-on consulting. It's been a little rough, though. It's been a while since I've done anything more than one day sessions but this first week seems to have gone well.
The one down side is that I'll be away from home for three and a half weeks. That's a long time away from my family, especially my son. That reminds me, I need to call him.
[...]
Ok, just got off the phone with him. He's doing good but misses me. I miss him very much. Thank $DEITY that my mother is there to watch him. If she wasn't I don't know if I could have taken this position. Another reason I wish I had a wife/girlfriend.
On that front, I believe that I'm going to give up looking for a woman. Not necessarily forever but for a while at least. It's to distracting. And it's not likely that I will ever find anyone anyway. Man, you know it's bad when your own mother also doesn't think I'll ever find a woman. Very depressing.
Which reminds me... I have run out of the Wellbutrin. The Doctor has said I need to see him again before continuing the prescription refilled. That's not likely to happen anytime soon as I won't be back for over two more weeks. Unfortunately the lack of the Wellbutrin has meant that I started smoking those damned Eclipse cigarettes.
Oh well, what the hell. Or as Miles says in Risky Business, sometimes you just have to say, "What the fuck."
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