Jumping off the track

Today was tough. I seemed to feel ok but every thing I'd try to get up and do something I'd get all woozy and light headed. Seems my vision is getting a bit worse as well. There used to be a focal point I could reach with my eyes. I could take off my glasses and bring something close till it was in focus. This is not happening at all with my left eye. There is no focal point for that one at all. My right eye still seems to float around four inches from my eye. While emaling with an old friend he was telling me about the eye lens replacement surgery he'd had recently. Seems he's never seen true, clear colors in his life. And he doesn't need glasses anymore (plus it got rid of the cataracts). Maybe it time to start thinking 'bout this. It's been getting harder and harder to see to drive (more on driving later) and it would be interesting to see lights without the large hallows around them. Did you know that I see the ordinary light bulb, when turn on, to be as big as a volleyball? If my health insurance covers this kind of thing... Maybe.

Had dinner with a guy I haven't seen in 20 years. He went to high school with my brothers. I coached him in football for two or three years. He was this skinny little guy who would put everything he had into it. He looks great now. I almost didn't recognize him at first 'cause he's shaved his head but it only took a moment. He was here visiting with his family, most of whom were here to visit him. Kinda an impromptu reunion. It was fun and we had a great time. There were only two problems that came out of the evening; my driving and the Apple Store.

I found the store when I came out of the parking garage. Being that it is impossible for me to at least wander through a computer store I did just that. There were some more good educational games for my son so I planned to come back after dinner with everyone. Once dinner was over and we all left I did go back. I found a ton of games, even one for me, but the approximate total for them would be just over $100. Now, I definitely don't need to be spending money on things like this. However, while I was waiting I asked, in an off-hand way, what the lowest priced iPod they had in stock. They had one of the older models for $159 but w/o any of the extras (like dock, case, charger, etc.). Then another guy showed me a refurbished one that was the one next up the line from the first. It came with all the extras and the total price was $179. Originally $399 now $179. I guess I lost my mind at that point. I put back $65 worth of the games and bought the iPod. With the two games I did keep for my son it came to $235! Looks like I'll be going into non-spending mega-mode again. I still should make it to the 1st in the black but the next paycheck is going to be just over half of what it should be so time to pinch pennies again.

Lastly, my driving. I'm finding that I can't really use my left arm to drive anymore. My left arm and hand have gotten to where they can't do much of anything that requires effort. But not only am I working against that, and my vision as stated above, I seem to find myself being detached lately. Like I'm just watching myself on a movie screen or something. I'm there in the moment with my body and mind but also not there. Somewhere above and behind. It's really hard to explain. How does this affect my driving? I'm not really paying attention to the road. I seem to spend more time looking down on myself from this detached presence. I'm watching me drive and not watching the road. I really can't explain it any better. I'm worried that one of these days I'm going to just miss something and have an accident. It's bad enough if I get into one but I will not take the risk if my son is in the car. Hopefully this is just a short spell and I'll be fine soon. If not I might not be able to drive soon. That would be a big problem.

Hungarian GP Comments

Well, it was a fairly uneventful race, no big crashes or any trademark Sato engine explosions. Ferrari started 1-2 on the grid and finished 1-2 to secure the Constructors' title. They needed 9 points and got 18. The drivers title is theoretically still not clinched but the only driver who has a chance to beet Michael is Rubens, and that's not likely to happen.

One of the interesting things was that Kimi Räikkönen was the first driver out of the race. This is the new McLaren-Mercedes package and it was supposed to bring them back into competitive form. The first few races it ran weren't bad but this one wasn't even close.

Juan Pablo Montoya didn't have to bad a race, all considered. He started his Williams-BMW 7th on the grid and ended up 4th. Fernando Alonso had another one of the, what is now becoming a common occurrence, Renault rocket-like starts and blasted from 5th to 3rd at the start. He nearly got Rubens on turn one but the Brazilian held on and it was pretty much over from there. The Ferrari's spend the race running 1 or 2 seconds a lap faster than everyone else on the trace.

While this race may have seemed fairly bland the results are anything but. Michael Schumacher won his record breaking 12th race of the season giving him 82 wins. As the Speed Channel announcers were quick to point out, the racer who is currently driving that has the next most wins is David Coulthard with 13. This is also Ferrari's 14th Constructors' title and 6th consecutive. Barrichello has been the only driver this season to finish every race, coming out of the points only once in the German GP. Let's see, what else... 51 consecutive races without a mechanical failure for Michael. There's some fuss about Mark Webber leaving Jaguar-Cosworth and going to Williams-BMW against his contract. The commentators talked about Giancarlo Fisichella leaving Sauber-Petronas for Renault after leaving them for Sauber last season. Giancarlo has always said he wants to drive for Ferrari but that's not likely to happen. Driving the Sauber was close as they run the Ferrari engine and chassy from last year, which is the main reason he moved to Sauber. But there's some question about his driving skill and loyalties. Plus he's fairly up there in age at 31. I agree with them that he should have stayed with Sauber. The tram is coming along and the car's have been good.

There's probably more I'm forgetting but the bottom line is that the Michael Schumacher-Ferrari package is, at this moment in time, unstoppable. We are witness to a golden time in F1. Years from now we can look back and say, "I was there when Schumacher and Ferrari were making history."

I finally understand Rob Enderle

Rob Enderle is an IT/IS industry analyst. His job is to look at the industry and try to figure out what it's doing and where it's going and to report on that. This way businesses and people can use his reports to help make decisions without having to sift through the mounds of information themselves. Rob Enderle is, to my knowledge, the sole employee and owner of The Enderle Group. From it's web site,

The Enderle Group provides an unparalleled look underneath breaking technology events to identify the core reasons that buyers and builders of this technology should care. Enderle Group strives "to bring diverse and challenging views into technology advisory services and consulting".

In the Linux and open source community, however, Rob Enderle is someone who is hated and vilified and, more recently for me, become someone who is just to be ignored. Like a gnat buzzing around your head in the summer. Occasionally it buzzes near your ear and you shoo it away. This is what it's like now when Rob Enderle published an editorial or presents a speech. Normally I just see his byline and summarily move on. Why? There's a long list of reasons that could be easily discovered by a good google search. But the bottom line is that he violently hates open source and, specifically, Linux.

Anyone who is even remotely involved with the Linux community knows that there are many real wackos on the fringes. This is because there are many wackos out there in the general populations and any community will have their portion of the wackos from said general pool. Some of the wackos have attacked and threatened Rob Enderle, even to include his life. On this I strongly disapprove. Rob Enderle is not worth the effort of writing a death threat letter or making a phone call. [And besides, death threats are illegal and not very intelligent things to do]. I knew he'd received a little hate email and snailmail from the wackos but I never really understood how he could keep taking the position on Linux, the SCO Group and Microsoft that he has been under the tremendous flood of sane, calm rational evidence that has come out through groups like Groklaw and others. I mean, if someone were to present you with irrefutable proof of the objective evidence that you were spending all your time defending and supporting a lie you might think twice about continuing your course, wouldn't you? Not Rob Enderle. It only seemed to fuel his fire against the truth. And this is something I couldn't understand.

But just this evening I finally had the chance to read the key note speech that Rob Enderle gave at the SCO Forum August 3, 2004. To be more accurate, I read half of it. I wasn't able to make it all the way through [something that often happens with things he writes or says]. But in it he talks about an event where...

I got myself into a lot of hot water by doing something I knew was wrong to prevent a crime from being committed. I am both an ex-auditor and an ex-sheriff and took the related vows very seriously and still, for the most part, live by them. By all accounts I would have lost my job and probably had to change careers again if it weren't for Bill Gates personally coming to my defense and pointing out that what I did probably kept a lot of folks out of jail. He didn't have to do that and, to this day I doubt he even remembers he did, but I remember.

Between this and the death threats he's gotten, plus his strangely described "eye opening experiences" at IBM [like this is only prevalent in IBM and no other mid- to large size companies. Or political parties, I might add], one can see that his vision of the world is so distorted by these events that he couldn't accurately analyze a bowl of fruit let alone an industry as complex and fast moving as IT/IS. Back before Linux and open source hit the consciousness of the world outside the community, he'd already made up his mind that they were bad and evil things to be destroyed no matter the cost! He is doubtless spending long days and nights feverishly working over any information that comes out positive about Linux and negative for the SCO Group or Microsoft in order to twist it around. See, it's become personal.

As the old saying goes, he can't see the forest for the trees. While he talks about transcending his bias', his speeches and writings strongly reinforce the fact that he is totally incapable of this. He can't form a coherent thought except that which has himself as the poor victim of this evil Cult of Linux. It has nothing to do with technology or facts or evidence.

I am reminded of a line in the movie The American President. To paraphrase it here... I always thought Rob Enderle spent so much time screaming at the rain because he just didn't get it. But it's not that he doesn't get it. It's that he can't sell it.

Back at home

We got back Monday afternoon. Man, I hate traveling!

I used to be ambivalent about it. But now, with the disability, it's really rough. The trip was worth it, though. We all went up to the home town, Brockway PA, of my maternal grandfather for a family reunion. Now, we've been to reunions for just the relations of my maternal grandfather before. The last one I was at was in '94. There were a few of them in the 90's and the largest turnout was about 80 people. This time there were over 150 people there. And this turned out to be a bit over one forth of the actual living relatives. We have over 450 people who are descended from my great-grandfather. He had 8 children, I believe, and these children then had large broods as well. My mother is, in the Borg vernacular, 9 of 10. (My maternal "ethnicity" is Italian. I'm half Italian and half German on my paternal side) . Needless to say, the food was absolutely wonderful. I ate so much that weekend I was good to go for days. The people were great, too. We found out that one of our distant cousin's was living in Germany at the same time we were and didn't even know it till then. The stories that the elder generation told were great as well. Lots of interesting a fun tales from the past. I only wish that more of them could have been there. Five of my mothers six brothers have passed away already and one of her three sisters is recovering from some pretty heavy-duty surgery, though she's doing exceptionally well. It was funny... There were a lot of really hot looking women there but they were all related to me in one way or other. It brought to mind the Jeff Foxworthy joke, "If you've ever gone to a family reunion looking for a wife, you might be a redneck." Luckily I am not that much of a redneck.

That said, the time spent before and after the reunion was miserable. The drive is about 4 or 5 hours one way. And the first two nights we stayed with one of my aunts. I love them dearly but it's just not easy to sleep in a spare room and all. The other two nights we were in a hotel. That was a little better. From now on when I go anywhere I'm staying in a hotel. It's just to difficult any way else. It's also caused me to think about the whole idea of travel quite a bit. How much do I really want to go anywhere? I know it's not good to be a hermit but even going to work is a hard, painful task.

The only other thing that was significant from the trip was the email backlog I had. I'd brought a laptop up with me but there weren't any convenient links. I had 200 new messages of which about 120 were spam. The spam filters caught over 1600 so it could have been worse. The 120 wouldn't have gotten through if I'd ever get around to upgrading that system. It's be all set if frelling Verizon would fix the fsck'ing DSL line. Maybe this weekend I'll get a chance to yell at them some more.

Going on Holiday

I can hear the strains of the Go-Go's "Vacation" in the back of my head. My son and I are going, along with the rest of my family, up to the city of our families origin. Pittsburgh, PA. We leave tomorrow morning (which means I should have hit the hay a long time ago) to go visit with some relatives then we'll be off to a very large family reunion. My mother was one or ten children so I got cousin's out the yingyang. Most of whom I have never seen. But it will be fun, that's one thing we know. Any gathering of 20 or more Italians is a party. And when they are family, it's an even bigger party. I'm going to bring my laptop with me in the off chance I'll find a link somewhere. Can't go that long without email, you know.

Katie vs Katie

Sometimes the wrong thing comes out of good intentions. Seems there was this girl, Katherine “Katie” Tarbox. In the words of the bio from her best selling book - "When she was only thirteen, Ms. Tarbox was a victim of Internet predator and consequently became involved in a landmark Federal case. Her case was one of the first to be tried under the 1996 Communications Decency Act and is still referenced by many legal cases today."

The book she wrote is titled "Katie.com" and was published in 2001. The title has a nice ring to it so the publishers, Penguin Putnam Inc, had the great idea of making the title of her book a domain where they would put up all the online gunk that all publishers of books do these days. There was only one problem. The domain was registered in 1996 by another Katie, Katie Jones.

Now there are some of us who remember the rule that if you buy a domain name in good faith, i.e. don't try and register something like WallMart.com, then you owned the domain. But now the rules have changed. Big Business with rooms full of lawyers are attacking the little guy (or, in this case, girl) and are trying to force her to give up her domain. Now, it wasn't like this book was written and published before she registered the domain. This domain belongs to Katie Jones. Period.

I realize that this blog doesn't get much traffic but for the three or four that might see it I would ask you to contact Katie Jones and show her your support. There is no rightful or honest reason for her to give up what she's owned for 8 years just to help make some publishing company richer.

There are a lot of things that go on here in the virtual world that aren't nice and pretty. They need to be dealt with accordingly. Katherine Tarbox survived one of these incidents. But to then take that and turn it into some kind of sham, use it as leverage to force someone out of what is legally there's. That's coercion. And isn't that illegal?

Another sleepless night

I don't know why I can't get any sleep. Is there something on my mind that's bothering me? Some splinter in my subconscious that is just below the level of awareness? I'm not a shrink and even if I was I couldn't analyze myself anyway.

Maybe it's the new meds? This seems to have started around the same time. I don't think so, though.

I think it might be work. They are doing a reorganization and I'm not exactly positive that I'll survive it. Everyone keeps telling me I'll be ok but I've heard that before. My team leader wants to have a talk tomorrow (well, today, actually) and then have a sit-down with the new guy taking his place, with all three of us. Hopefully then I'll have a better picture.

But it also might be the situation with my ex and my son. He's supposed to spend the Summers with her during the week but he keeps wanting to stay here with me. Now, don't get me wrong, I want him here as much as possible. But we do have a court mandated custody agreement than is going to have to be amended if the physical custody is going to be changed. Additionally, I don't want him to not be with his mother. I do whish her situation would get a bit more stable someday. And I really didn't like that she had me tell him about her roommate/ex-girlfriend. But that's a long story I don't want to get into right now.

I'm also feeling a little guilty about not going to Tae Kwon Do. It's been over a year since I've gone regularly and he hasn't really been since slightly before summer started. It is something we both like to do and I know I could really use the exercise.

Maybe it's because I don't have a girlfriend. It would make a huge difference if I had a relationship. Not for the sex, I have a way around that (Hi Mari) but for the championship. I am much more solid when I have someone to be with and share with. Someone to help and be helped by. Someone to listen to my problems and to tell me hers. I know; blah, blah, blah... Poor me.

Still, would it be so bad if I got a few hours of sleep a night?

geek code

Ok, here's my brand new updated Geek Code -

GAT d-@ s:+ a+ C++++ UL++++(US++)$ P+(P++)$ L+++$>++++$ E--- W+++$ N+ !o K? w--- O(+) M+$ V- PS(+) PE Y+ PGP+ t+ 5+++ X R(+) tv- b+ DI++ D+ G+ e h r% y++++