Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Jumping off the track

Today was tough. I seemed to feel ok but every thing I'd try to get up and do something I'd get all woozy and light headed. Seems my vision is getting a bit worse as well. There used to be a focal point I could reach with my eyes. I could take off my glasses and bring something close till it was in focus. This is not happening at all with my left eye. There is no focal point for that one at all. My right eye still seems to float around four inches from my eye. While emaling with an old friend he was telling me about the eye lens replacement surgery he'd had recently. Seems he's never seen true, clear colors in his life. And he doesn't need glasses anymore (plus it got rid of the cataracts). Maybe it time to start thinking 'bout this. It's been getting harder and harder to see to drive (more on driving later) and it would be interesting to see lights without the large hallows around them. Did you know that I see the ordinary light bulb, when turn on, to be as big as a volleyball? If my health insurance covers this kind of thing... Maybe.

Had dinner with a guy I haven't seen in 20 years. He went to high school with my brothers. I coached him in football for two or three years. He was this skinny little guy who would put everything he had into it. He looks great now. I almost didn't recognize him at first 'cause he's shaved his head but it only took a moment. He was here visiting with his family, most of whom were here to visit him. Kinda an impromptu reunion. It was fun and we had a great time. There were only two problems that came out of the evening; my driving and the Apple Store.

I found the store when I came out of the parking garage. Being that it is impossible for me to at least wander through a computer store I did just that. There were some more good educational games for my son so I planned to come back after dinner with everyone. Once dinner was over and we all left I did go back. I found a ton of games, even one for me, but the approximate total for them would be just over $100. Now, I definitely don't need to be spending money on things like this. However, while I was waiting I asked, in an off-hand way, what the lowest priced iPod they had in stock. They had one of the older models for $159 but w/o any of the extras (like dock, case, charger, etc.). Then another guy showed me a refurbished one that was the one next up the line from the first. It came with all the extras and the total price was $179. Originally $399 now $179. I guess I lost my mind at that point. I put back $65 worth of the games and bought the iPod. With the two games I did keep for my son it came to $235! Looks like I'll be going into non-spending mega-mode again. I still should make it to the 1st in the black but the next paycheck is going to be just over half of what it should be so time to pinch pennies again.

Lastly, my driving. I'm finding that I can't really use my left arm to drive anymore. My left arm and hand have gotten to where they can't do much of anything that requires effort. But not only am I working against that, and my vision as stated above, I seem to find myself being detached lately. Like I'm just watching myself on a movie screen or something. I'm there in the moment with my body and mind but also not there. Somewhere above and behind. It's really hard to explain. How does this affect my driving? I'm not really paying attention to the road. I seem to spend more time looking down on myself from this detached presence. I'm watching me drive and not watching the road. I really can't explain it any better. I'm worried that one of these days I'm going to just miss something and have an accident. It's bad enough if I get into one but I will not take the risk if my son is in the car. Hopefully this is just a short spell and I'll be fine soon. If not I might not be able to drive soon. That would be a big problem.

1 comment:

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