Right now I want to update the situation WRT the ladies. The Together Dating just didn't pan out. I got so behind in January that I couldn't catch up. And if you don't send back the evaluation report from the date they take you off the active list. OC they have no problem continuing to bill me. The fine print is for me to continue to pay something like $68/mo for two or three years, regardless of whether I'm active or not. It all reminds me of the rant Leo Getz did about doctors in Lethal Weapon 3.
That leaves the situation with my Chinese lady friend. She wanted to try a more romantic relationship but it just didn't work out. I kept failing tests that I had no idea I was taking. I'm told that this is a very common experience for men. Example; she had a problem with her toilet. It would flush on it's own every so often. She called to ask what she should do. Well, I went through this with one of the bathrooms in the house we owned before the divorce. The solution was to have the inner guts replaced. See, I wasn't a handyman even before my hands stopped working right. If something breaks I call someone who is a professional at fixing said problem and all is well. I relayed this to her but she didn't want to call a plumber. Ok, fine. The next day I found out that this was a test. I was supposed to come over and help her when she called. How am I supposed to do that? I have a young boy in bed and I have to much pain to move in the first place. There was nothing I could have done in going over there but doing so would be a tremendous cost in energy and pain. This is why I didn't even offer. BZZZZZZZT, that was the wrong answer for this test. There were one or two more of these kind of tests that I also failed. So she decided that with all the things going on in her life with work and her daughter it wasn't a good time to get involved. And, due to my poor showing in the tests, she didn't feel that I was the right man for her. At first I wasn't all to happy about this, feeling that the fairness of the tests was a tad lacking. But after thinking about it some I came to realize that it wasn't going to work anyway. There were signs... The biggest one was that she would often call or email asking for advice on something that's happening in her life. I would give her some advice and try to point out as many different ways to go as I could. She would then just do whatever it was she had wanted to do even before she'd asked me. But the more fundamental problem was that she didn't understand the kind of pain I am in every moment of every day. Even if I thought of going over to look at her plumbing (no pun intended) the cost in pain and energy couldn't be overcome for that situation. Ergo, no go. We still keep contact and hopefully we can still get together on occasion as I do enjoy her company and her daughter is really cool. But we'll just have to see what comes of it.
And that's pretty much it. There's really no other options for me to pursue WRT women. There's always the chance of lightning striking but the odds against that are, as Spock might say, astronomical.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Friday, June 17, 2005
Monopoly != me
Last night I was playing Monopoly with my son. We had a really fun time of it. He completely kicked my @$$. I mean I got SPANKED! The funny thing is that a few roles of the dice before he dominated me he was ready to give up the game. See, I had far more property than he did, including three with hotels on them. He only had one with a hotel and one with two houses but he did have three railroads. Now, if you've played Monopoly much you know that when you have a lot of property and hotels you don't have much liquid assets (i.e. cash). I was in just this situation. Well, you can guess what happened... I landed on his hotel. In order to pay the rent I had to sell all of my hotels and mortgage 75% of my property. The next roll had me land on another one of his properties with buildings. I was done for. Even mortgaging the res of my property didn't give me enough to pay. I was blown out of the water (wait; that's Battleship... Different game). Needless to say he was very happy. I reminded him that he was just about to give up and quit. Had he done so, he'd never have stomped me.
This is a pattern I've seen with him since forever (or 8 years, whichever is closest). He will try something, complain it's to hard and try to quit. He's done this with most of the PS2 games he plays. Of course, once he plays them for a little bit he becomes damn near invincible. My hope is that I can get him to always look at life in this way. If something seems to be unbeatable just keep hammering away at it. You'll eventually overcome any obstacles. It would be a little easier, though, if he didn't see his dad chewed up and spit out by the world.
I've been doing all I can to shield him from the fact that we are just about homeless with no light on the horizon. Now, I'm going to keep plugging away the best I can. But I see that the best I have isn't good enough. Just a little break, that's all I'd need to bounce back. A job; a mate; decent assistance laws or even most of my health back. Any one of these would be enough. They just look as attainable as the moon right now.
This is a pattern I've seen with him since forever (or 8 years, whichever is closest). He will try something, complain it's to hard and try to quit. He's done this with most of the PS2 games he plays. Of course, once he plays them for a little bit he becomes damn near invincible. My hope is that I can get him to always look at life in this way. If something seems to be unbeatable just keep hammering away at it. You'll eventually overcome any obstacles. It would be a little easier, though, if he didn't see his dad chewed up and spit out by the world.
I've been doing all I can to shield him from the fact that we are just about homeless with no light on the horizon. Now, I'm going to keep plugging away the best I can. But I see that the best I have isn't good enough. Just a little break, that's all I'd need to bounce back. A job; a mate; decent assistance laws or even most of my health back. Any one of these would be enough. They just look as attainable as the moon right now.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Who's who and who cares
In regard to my earlier post, I am going to expound on the world of Open Source. Specifically some of the so-called luminaries in that world. Let's take a look at four of the big names; Linus Torvalds, Richard Stallman, Bruce Perens, and Eric Raymond (to be known as Linus, RMS, Perens & ESR respectively). We'll start in the middle.
RMS: What can be said about him that hasn't already been said? Here's my opinion on him. He's an extremist fruitcake who is a vital part of the whole software industry. He's so far out on his end of the spectrum that he balances things out. While he can be exasperating at times, he is probably the most important person in the Open Source world. Score: B-
Perens: Bruce is very good at starting projects. Often the projects he starts are good ones that could be very beneficial to the world at large. However, I have not seen him actually complete anything. That's not to say he has never completed something, just that I've not seen it. He does have some very good ideas and has been good for the Open Source world on whole, though. Score: C-
ERS: $DEITY don't get me started. Well, I already got myself started so here goes. ESR is very smart (as are all of the people on this rant) and has had some good ideas (The Cathedral and the Bazaar, for one) but he's done almost as much to hurt Open Source as to help it. He doesn't know where to draw the line between an IT/IS professional and a flaming zealot. Honestly, I know a number of people who would be much better "spokesman" that he is. Score: D
Linus: Now we come to the only one of these guys that I have actually met. It was just a short face-to-face after one of the sessions of USENIX back in the mid-90's. Linus is one of the most mellow people I know in this industry. It seems that part of being an uber-techie is having an explosive personality. This doesn't mean Linus has never flamed away. If you look through some of the lists he's on you can find some very chestnut warming posts. But he doesn't let his non-techie life get to mixed up with his techie life. Plus, there are many people who look at him in an almost godlike way. Most people finding themselves in this kind of power situation would be prone to believing the press and assuming godlike attitudes. Linus has been able to keep a level head amongst the adulation for over a decade now. This is an admirable quality. Score: A+
Well, there' my first OPA post. And remember, I am always right!
RMS: What can be said about him that hasn't already been said? Here's my opinion on him. He's an extremist fruitcake who is a vital part of the whole software industry. He's so far out on his end of the spectrum that he balances things out. While he can be exasperating at times, he is probably the most important person in the Open Source world. Score: B-
Perens: Bruce is very good at starting projects. Often the projects he starts are good ones that could be very beneficial to the world at large. However, I have not seen him actually complete anything. That's not to say he has never completed something, just that I've not seen it. He does have some very good ideas and has been good for the Open Source world on whole, though. Score: C-
ERS: $DEITY don't get me started. Well, I already got myself started so here goes. ESR is very smart (as are all of the people on this rant) and has had some good ideas (The Cathedral and the Bazaar, for one) but he's done almost as much to hurt Open Source as to help it. He doesn't know where to draw the line between an IT/IS professional and a flaming zealot. Honestly, I know a number of people who would be much better "spokesman" that he is. Score: D
Linus: Now we come to the only one of these guys that I have actually met. It was just a short face-to-face after one of the sessions of USENIX back in the mid-90's. Linus is one of the most mellow people I know in this industry. It seems that part of being an uber-techie is having an explosive personality. This doesn't mean Linus has never flamed away. If you look through some of the lists he's on you can find some very chestnut warming posts. But he doesn't let his non-techie life get to mixed up with his techie life. Plus, there are many people who look at him in an almost godlike way. Most people finding themselves in this kind of power situation would be prone to believing the press and assuming godlike attitudes. Linus has been able to keep a level head amongst the adulation for over a decade now. This is an admirable quality. Score: A+
Well, there' my first OPA post. And remember, I am always right!
Deserter Charles Jenkins Visits U.S.
Deserter Charles Jenkins Visits U.S.
Associated Press
June 13, 2005
"TOKYO - Charles Jenkins, a U.S. soldier who deserted his Army unit 40 years ago and fled to North Korea, and his Japanese wife left their home in northern Japan on Monday for his first visit to the United States since he turned himself in late last year.
Jenkins was scheduled to fly to Washington D.C. on Tuesday after spending a night in Tokyo. He has said he has no plans to move to the United States, but has repeatedly said he wants to see his 91-year-old mother, who lives in a nursing home in Roanoke Rapids, N.C.
He was expected to stay in the United States for about a week."
Associated Press
June 13, 2005
"TOKYO - Charles Jenkins, a U.S. soldier who deserted his Army unit 40 years ago and fled to North Korea, and his Japanese wife left their home in northern Japan on Monday for his first visit to the United States since he turned himself in late last year.
Jenkins was scheduled to fly to Washington D.C. on Tuesday after spending a night in Tokyo. He has said he has no plans to move to the United States, but has repeatedly said he wants to see his 91-year-old mother, who lives in a nursing home in Roanoke Rapids, N.C.
He was expected to stay in the United States for about a week."
A Snake of June
I won't call this a review but more like impressions of the Japanese film whose English title is A Snake of June.
I bunch of months ago, when I was still using Blockbusters movie-by-mail service, I rented it. I thought by the description that it was kind of an erotic thriller but it was actually closer to soft-core porn. However, the really noticeable thing was that the movie didn't make any sense. At least it didn't to me. Now I'm not one to claim that I can understand everything I come across but I usually find something that I can make sense of in just about any movie I've seen. This was an exception. It probably made more sense to Japanese speaking audiences but I'd find it difficult to believe that anyone could completely grok this movie. Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing in and of itself. There are plenty of good, enjoyable movies where you can't make head-nor-tail of the plot. The theatrical version of The Big Sleep being the one that comes to mind at the moment. The acting in Snake was probably quite good. I couldn't really tell because I was to busy trying to figure out what the hell just happened to spend time noticing that. And maybe it would have been easier if I didn't have to read subtitles as well. But I've watched a good number of movies in non-English languages having to read subtitles and been able to follow the plot and enjoy the acting and directing and such. Crouching Tiger is a good example. The plot is not very straight forward but it was a real joy to watch this movie. The original French version of La Femme Nikita is another. Both of these are complex movies that move as a good clip, especially Nikita, but I was able to stay with them and also notice the acting and directing as well as many of the other non-spotlight awards given out by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.
Anyway, this is just something that's been nagging at me for months. Again, this isn't a review, just my impressions.
I bunch of months ago, when I was still using Blockbusters movie-by-mail service, I rented it. I thought by the description that it was kind of an erotic thriller but it was actually closer to soft-core porn. However, the really noticeable thing was that the movie didn't make any sense. At least it didn't to me. Now I'm not one to claim that I can understand everything I come across but I usually find something that I can make sense of in just about any movie I've seen. This was an exception. It probably made more sense to Japanese speaking audiences but I'd find it difficult to believe that anyone could completely grok this movie. Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing in and of itself. There are plenty of good, enjoyable movies where you can't make head-nor-tail of the plot. The theatrical version of The Big Sleep being the one that comes to mind at the moment. The acting in Snake was probably quite good. I couldn't really tell because I was to busy trying to figure out what the hell just happened to spend time noticing that. And maybe it would have been easier if I didn't have to read subtitles as well. But I've watched a good number of movies in non-English languages having to read subtitles and been able to follow the plot and enjoy the acting and directing and such. Crouching Tiger is a good example. The plot is not very straight forward but it was a real joy to watch this movie. The original French version of La Femme Nikita is another. Both of these are complex movies that move as a good clip, especially Nikita, but I was able to stay with them and also notice the acting and directing as well as many of the other non-spotlight awards given out by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.
Anyway, this is just something that's been nagging at me for months. Again, this isn't a review, just my impressions.
Monday, June 13, 2005
Comments on the Canadian GP
This was a very enjoyable and unpredictable race. Right from the beginning you could tell something was up. After the disastrous turn last race coming off the two race suspension, Jenson Button put his BAR-Honda on the poll. We also got to see something new for this season, Red at the top of the grid as Michael qualified his Ferrari second. Behind them were the two Renault, Fernando Alonso in third position and Giancarlo Fisichella right next to him. Juan Pablo Montoya out qualified his McLaren-Mercedes teammate Kimi Räikkönen to start fifth to Kimi's seventh. Takuma Sato slid the other BAR in between them. Starting from pit lane would be Rubens Barrichello in the other Ferrari due to his not even being able to run in qualifying. So, the stage is set for the start.
And what a start it was. As we've been seeing over the last two years, the Renault's blasted out of the gate with Giancarlo edging out Fernando to take the lead. Michael had a horrible start falling quickly back to sixth. The race went on for the first third of the race when all the fun started. First Narain Karthikeyan (the first F1 driver from India) had a suspension failure, caused by bouncing off of Champions Wall, quickly followed by Taku. But the next few laps saw race leaders fall bricks. Giancarlo loses Hydraulics handing P1 to Fernando. Six laps later it's Fernando's turn as he kisses the wall and cracks his rear suspension. Sometime around this point Taku rejoins the race some 15 or so laps down. The speculation was that he was just taking it as a test run. However, his race would end permanently on lap 40 when his brakes locked. Three laps later the Williams-BMW driven by Nick Heidfeld saw it's engine let go. There's been some real bad blood this season between Williams and BMW with each blaming the other for the poor performances this season. But back to the race. Just another three laps go by when Jenson meets Champions Wall himself. Was it just a mistake in his driving or did he have some help from the oil that was left from Nick's mishap? Who can say. All that mattered is that there was a new driver in P1. But JP didn't have a long stint either. He was Black Flagged on lap 52 for running a red light in the pit while the safety car was on the track. This propelled Kimi into the lead. So the progression went something like this:
Giancarlo -> Fernando -> Jenson -> JP -> Kimi
The interesting thing is that with all these lost leaders, Michael was able to take P2. Not to be outdone by his teammate, Rubens went all the way from dead last into P3. The Ferrari's were both on the podium for the first time this season.
With the Renault's taking no points this puts the championship races in a much more competitive situation. The drivers points look like this:
And what a start it was. As we've been seeing over the last two years, the Renault's blasted out of the gate with Giancarlo edging out Fernando to take the lead. Michael had a horrible start falling quickly back to sixth. The race went on for the first third of the race when all the fun started. First Narain Karthikeyan (the first F1 driver from India) had a suspension failure, caused by bouncing off of Champions Wall, quickly followed by Taku. But the next few laps saw race leaders fall bricks. Giancarlo loses Hydraulics handing P1 to Fernando. Six laps later it's Fernando's turn as he kisses the wall and cracks his rear suspension. Sometime around this point Taku rejoins the race some 15 or so laps down. The speculation was that he was just taking it as a test run. However, his race would end permanently on lap 40 when his brakes locked. Three laps later the Williams-BMW driven by Nick Heidfeld saw it's engine let go. There's been some real bad blood this season between Williams and BMW with each blaming the other for the poor performances this season. But back to the race. Just another three laps go by when Jenson meets Champions Wall himself. Was it just a mistake in his driving or did he have some help from the oil that was left from Nick's mishap? Who can say. All that mattered is that there was a new driver in P1. But JP didn't have a long stint either. He was Black Flagged on lap 52 for running a red light in the pit while the safety car was on the track. This propelled Kimi into the lead. So the progression went something like this:
Giancarlo -> Fernando -> Jenson -> JP -> Kimi
The interesting thing is that with all these lost leaders, Michael was able to take P2. Not to be outdone by his teammate, Rubens went all the way from dead last into P3. The Ferrari's were both on the podium for the first time this season.
With the Renault's taking no points this puts the championship races in a much more competitive situation. The drivers points look like this:
Pos Driver Nationality Team PointsAnd the Constructor's points are:
1 Fernando Alonso Spanish Renault 59
2 Kimi Räikkönen Finnish McLaren-Mercedes 37
3 Jarno Trulli Italian Toyota 27
4 Nick Heidfeld German Williams-BMW 25
5 Michael Schumacher German Ferrari 24
6 Mark Webber Australian Williams-BMW 22
7 Rubens Barrichello Brazilian Ferrari 21
8 Ralf Schumacher German Toyota 20
9 Giancarlo Fisichella Italian Renault 17
9= David Coulthard British Red Bull Racing 17
11 Juan Pablo Montoya Colombian McLaren-Mercedes 16
12 Felipe Massa Brazilian Sauber-Petronas 7
13 Alexander Wurz Austrian McLaren-Mercedes 6
14 Jacques Villeneuve Canadian Sauber-Petronas 5
15 Pedro de la Rosa Spanish McLaren-Mercedes 4
15= Christian Klien Austrian Red Bull Racing 4
17 Vitantonio Liuzzi Italian Red Bull Racing 1
Pos Constructor PointsNow it's off to Indianapolis for the US GP next Sunday.
1 Renault 76
2 McLaren-Mercedes 63
3 Williams-BMW 47
3= Toyota 47
5 Ferrari 45
6 Red Bull Racing 22
7 Sauber-Petronas 12
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Opinionated pompous ass
Last night I was thinking. I had some time to think as I was up till 3am with "the trots." (I know; TMI) Anyway, I'm thinking about this blog and the open source world and life and all that. It also came to mind my 23 years of working in the IM/IS/IT/whatever industry. I've had time to reflect on my experience in this industry lately because I'm bring my resume out to everywhere I can in order to find some income. Looking at my resume you will see that I've had experience in a fairly good array of fields in the industry. I'm not the greatest or most or best anything but I do have experience in a good range of things, quite a bit that is not reflected in my resume. "School of Life" sorta stuff. Going over all of this I got to thinking about the opinions and insights and commentary I might have on not only the industry but life and cultures and all kinds of things. After all, I have been across the Atlantic ocean some 13 or 15 times (I can't remember which but I know it's an odd number), so I have some experience that many others don't. I've also been around for a decent amount of time, being 42 years of age at the time of this writing. So what does all of this babbling mean? It means I can express myself, here in this venue, all the ideas and opinions and observations I might want to express. So in the coming weeks/months/years I think I'll just let loss and see what happens. But don't worry, I'll still post my comments on the Formula 1 races. Just remember one thing...
I am always right!Always.
Trends in Open Source project development
I'm a freshmeat whore. I will look through the listed project updates three or four times a day looking to the way it's supposed to work. Yes, but I mean that you can tell what is the top of the list for open source projects by looking at what is being released on freshmeat at any given time. Right now the "app de jour" is Content Management System (CMS) apps. Not long ago it was blog tools (though these are still popular). I think that this is being driven more by business needs than simply hackers scratching the proverbial itch. This can also bee seen by the slow but steady rise of ERP apps. Now, I have little use for these kinds of things (I tend to look for little things that strike my fancy yet often have little usefulness for me) but it's not hard to see that someone does.
There my be many debates on the benefits and peril's of open source but there's one thing that has been already realized; open source is here to stay and is likely to become the dominant licensing and development model for future software projects. More and more businesses are finding that
the combination of security, flexibility and price can't be beaten by any proprietary, buggy and dangerous offering by companies run by demigods. I am not singling out any one [Microsoft] company that [Microsoft] is guilty [Microsoft] of doing this [Microsoft] but you can [Microsoft] probably come up with[Microsoft] one or two [Microsoft] of your own.
There my be many debates on the benefits and peril's of open source but there's one thing that has been already realized; open source is here to stay and is likely to become the dominant licensing and development model for future software projects. More and more businesses are finding that
the combination of security, flexibility and price can't be beaten by any proprietary, buggy and dangerous offering by companies run by demigods. I am not singling out any one [Microsoft] company that [Microsoft] is guilty [Microsoft] of doing this [Microsoft] but you can [Microsoft] probably come up with[Microsoft] one or two [Microsoft] of your own.
Friday, June 10, 2005
Feelings. Nothing more than...
Feeling not so good. This isn't FM related (at least it doesn't feel like it). I'm totally wiped but can't get to sleep. I'm feeling nauseous and my intestines are rather unhappy. I hope I'll be ok as we got some important things to do on Friday.
I gotta go lie down. Now.
I gotta go lie down. Now.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
(Almost)
Neat. I ran across this little app called drivel that is a GNOME based blog tool. This is the first entry using it. While I like the web interface to Blogger this looks like it could be more practical and quicker to use. Especially the spell checking (since everyone who knows me in the offline world knows that I can't spell any English words with more than two letters; you can't imagine what it was like before spell checking).
[Update] Damn! The thing doesn't post a subject. Time to write the authors and see if there's anything that can be done.
[Update] Damn! The thing doesn't post a subject. Time to write the authors and see if there's anything that can be done.
I really hate computers
The frelling server is hung again. There's something wrong with either the drive or the controller. The root filesystem on /dev/hda1 just will not come back up after an ungraceful shutdown. And now that the warmer weather is coming we'll be getting thunder storms in the afternoons quite often. It wouldn't be that much of a pain if it weren't for the distance to the CoLo site. And even THAT wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the traffic in this region. So my primary email, and the email for my family, is down again. I have a new box that's 85% ready to replace the old one and I was hoping to have a little more time to get it ready but now it will just have to go into service ASAP. With some luck, and some help, I hope to get it in place this weekend. However...
This proposed server swap has been "in the works" for, oh, I guess 4 years now. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I'll never get it done. I hope to prove them wrong this weekend but even I know that the odds are against me. Let's see... I'll give 3-1, no, 5-1 that I don't make it up this weekend. Any takers?
This proposed server swap has been "in the works" for, oh, I guess 4 years now. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I'll never get it done. I hope to prove them wrong this weekend but even I know that the odds are against me. Let's see... I'll give 3-1, no, 5-1 that I don't make it up this weekend. Any takers?
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Sanity is relative
It seems that my mother thinks I'm strange.
This isn't a news flash, everyone knows I'm strange. But she read this blog and it has added a new nuance to the mix. That's ok. With everything that's going on lately it's a miracle I'm still able to function.
The other day I was flipping through the Comcast got help us! On Demand stuff and went into the free movie selection. Free is good so I thought I'd see what they had. Lo' and behold! They had 1776. If you haven't seen this movie you should run out right now and get it, rent it, steal it (ok, don't steal it), borrow it... Just see the movie. Anyway, there's a line in it that has always amused me.
But sanity is relative, as I said. What is sane to one person could likely be insane to another. Circumstances and culture and a ton of other things make up how we define what is sane and insane. In many ways I am not quite sane, but so is everyone else who takes breath on this planet. The trick is to realize your insanity and adjust yourself so that you can function in the real world. Of course no one has actually defined what the term "real world" means, but that's for another time.
This isn't a news flash, everyone knows I'm strange. But she read this blog and it has added a new nuance to the mix. That's ok. With everything that's going on lately it's a miracle I'm still able to function.
The other day I was flipping through the Comcast got help us! On Demand stuff and went into the free movie selection. Free is good so I thought I'd see what they had. Lo' and behold! They had 1776. If you haven't seen this movie you should run out right now and get it, rent it, steal it (ok, don't steal it), borrow it... Just see the movie. Anyway, there's a line in it that has always amused me.
"Good God, consider yourselves fortunate that you have John Adams to abuse, for no sane man would tolerate it!"I find this amusing because it states quite clearly my position on how I relate to the universe. It's a good thing that I am around because "no sane man would tolerate it!"
But sanity is relative, as I said. What is sane to one person could likely be insane to another. Circumstances and culture and a ton of other things make up how we define what is sane and insane. In many ways I am not quite sane, but so is everyone else who takes breath on this planet. The trick is to realize your insanity and adjust yourself so that you can function in the real world. Of course no one has actually defined what the term "real world" means, but that's for another time.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Friday, June 03, 2005
For what purpose is this blog?
It seems that all I do here is whine and bitch and moan about my troubles. Well, ok, I do post my "comments" on the F1 races. But that's it. You'd think that I'd have something meaningful to say but it seems that I don't. Or maybe I haven't given it a try. I know there are people who have recognized blogs (on the local, regional, national and global level) who know and understand half of what I do. That's strong words which only say I can rant and comment on many things better than some others who do. Sour grapes? Maybe. I've been in some communities longer and been more involved than some who come in later and get recognition. But honestly, that's just the way life works. Life. That's also an interesting topic.
At this time in my life I have lived in many worlds. I see my life as having certain cohesive parts. Like eras but on a much smaller scale. There is the beginning. The years from birth to high school. A lot happened to me and the family during these years but I have very little memory of it. I'm told by my mother that this was partially due to being abused by a teacher in early grade school. I do have some tattered memories and emotional impressions of this time but they are very small and disjointed.
Then come the high school years. I remember most of this time and, for the most part, they were happier times. We'd just moved to Germany for the last time the beginning of my freshman year. Prior to this time I hadn't been much for organized sports. I played Little League once and we won the championship in '71. I still have the trophy somewhere. But now I was entering into high school football. Not only that, my father was going to be the head coach. That first year I was umpyumpth string no-real-position on a JV squad of 88 kids. My father had a rule that if a kid wanted to play they were not cut from JV. I saw very little game time that first season in '76. My sophomore year I was second string defensive end. I got to play on occasion but mostly did defensive team in practice for the starting offense. The summer before my junior year my dad and I decided to see if I could play center. I learned how to snap the ball and block. When the season started I made second string Varsity as center. There were guys who were first string JV the previous year who were still on JV. This caused some "you only got on varsity because of your dad" things but they didn't go vary far because I wasn't starting. My senior year was incredible. That year I made first string center. During camp, when it started to look like I was going to be first string, I got into an "altercation" with the meanest, baddest, kick-ass killer on the team. Mark Rife. That was the beginning of my ascension from dork to semi-cool. The first three games of the season we won but the offense didn't look good at all. The defense was the best ever so they kept us from losing. After the third game my dad, uhm, I mean "the coach" completely re-did the offensive line. There was a wholesale change of every position by center. There was a little grumbling about me staying only because of the blood-ties. But during the week leading up to the next game something happened in practice that made all the grumbling and speculation about my fitness for the position go away for good. The noseguard on our team was a guy known as Big George. He had the most deadly forearm in the league. He'd knocked other players out cold with it. Up to now I had been doing everything I could to avoid it. But that day, for some reason, I decided to stand up to the monster forearm and see if I could take it. Well, Big George lay back and threw a really good one at me. After it hit we both were standing there looking at each other with expressions of disbelief. He reared back and threw another one. The results were the same. I remember a huge grin busting out on my face. That's because I came to the realization that I was going to have it easy for the rest of the season. Not in practice but in the games. I would never run into anyone better and more powerful than Big George in a game. This was the completion of my ascension from dork to semi-cool. The rest of the season we beat the crap out of everyone and went to the championship game. We proceeded to beat the crap out of Heidelberg and won the title. Man, it was absolutely wonderful. It also marked the beginning of the end of this era in my life. I graduated on June 8th, 1980 and thus moved on to a new time.
This era was the "sowing my oats" time. I spent a couple of semesters dabbling at the university thing but dropped out for good in '82 Now, I was never a really wild one but I did venture into parts of the world that were very fun but also potentially dangerous. This time ran from when I turned 18 until we moved to the States in '88 then was 25 years old. During this period I was working and living the Heavy Metal life. I worked mostly evenings and nights so I didn't get to see my family much but we kids, my two brothers and my sister (all younger than me) would go out on weekends. I would often go out after working the second shift. It was ideal. I'd get to the bar or club between 11pm and midnight. The only people left out at this time were the hard-core headbangers. I'd stay out 'till closing, drag my ass in around 5am, sleep till around 2pm, then I'd get up and do it all over again. I met a lot of very fun and interesting people over this journey from boy to man. We lived in a number of different places in this era. From '80 to '82 in K-Town, then from '82 to '87 in Neu Ulm, from '87 to '88 in Frankfurt. Also during this time my siblings and I were a rock/metal band that played some of the clubs and bars. We even went into a studio and cut a demo of 10 tracks which were all original songs written by us. The master tapes are somewhere in a box in my brother's house. This time in my life was very volatile but always moving and usually happy. Even when things were bad it was still good. This is the part of my list that I'd pick for the old, "if you could live your life over again..." thing.
Now we come to the longest period in my life. From '88 into 2000. Things started out with my transition from headbanger to a "responsible adult," whatever that is. There was the move from having a "job" to a "career." In '90 I got married. In 94' we bought a house. In '96 we had our son. I was living my life in the place I was born to be. I had a challenging job, interesting friends, a cool hobby (if anyone remembers the time when BBS's ruled the world), a home and a family. Unfortunately the foundation of this world was not solid. In fact it wasn't really there at all. It seems funny, locking back, that the longest era in my life had the least amount of joy (but it did have a LOT of Joy). Don't get me wrong, I was unbelievably happy when I got married and there is no way to describe the happiness of having our son. But all in all, it just seems to lay there on the track of history.
So, come to the present. It started off with "The Year From Hell." The systematic crumbling of my entire life and my whole world happened over this one year. Since then it's just been a slow decent into the abyss.
So let's see what a timeline would look line.
Well, that was a lot of writing. Took me three days to get it done. And what does this all say? Does it answer the title question? I don't know. Maybe if I put more time and effort into something that would be of interest to more than just myself. But I can't think of anything off-hand. I don't have the energy to follow the Linux community anymore, though I do wish I could. Maybe do something about or on Fibromyalgia? I don't know what more I could contribute to what is already out there. What else do I know? Sports. I know something about football and track as I did spend time coaching with my dad. But sports isn't about sports any more. It's about money and contracts and endorsements.
I don't know. Maybe there isn't anything useful I can contribute to the world anymore.
"Regards to Captain Dunsel"
At this time in my life I have lived in many worlds. I see my life as having certain cohesive parts. Like eras but on a much smaller scale. There is the beginning. The years from birth to high school. A lot happened to me and the family during these years but I have very little memory of it. I'm told by my mother that this was partially due to being abused by a teacher in early grade school. I do have some tattered memories and emotional impressions of this time but they are very small and disjointed.
Then come the high school years. I remember most of this time and, for the most part, they were happier times. We'd just moved to Germany for the last time the beginning of my freshman year. Prior to this time I hadn't been much for organized sports. I played Little League once and we won the championship in '71. I still have the trophy somewhere. But now I was entering into high school football. Not only that, my father was going to be the head coach. That first year I was umpyumpth string no-real-position on a JV squad of 88 kids. My father had a rule that if a kid wanted to play they were not cut from JV. I saw very little game time that first season in '76. My sophomore year I was second string defensive end. I got to play on occasion but mostly did defensive team in practice for the starting offense. The summer before my junior year my dad and I decided to see if I could play center. I learned how to snap the ball and block. When the season started I made second string Varsity as center. There were guys who were first string JV the previous year who were still on JV. This caused some "you only got on varsity because of your dad" things but they didn't go vary far because I wasn't starting. My senior year was incredible. That year I made first string center. During camp, when it started to look like I was going to be first string, I got into an "altercation" with the meanest, baddest, kick-ass killer on the team. Mark Rife. That was the beginning of my ascension from dork to semi-cool. The first three games of the season we won but the offense didn't look good at all. The defense was the best ever so they kept us from losing. After the third game my dad, uhm, I mean "the coach" completely re-did the offensive line. There was a wholesale change of every position by center. There was a little grumbling about me staying only because of the blood-ties. But during the week leading up to the next game something happened in practice that made all the grumbling and speculation about my fitness for the position go away for good. The noseguard on our team was a guy known as Big George. He had the most deadly forearm in the league. He'd knocked other players out cold with it. Up to now I had been doing everything I could to avoid it. But that day, for some reason, I decided to stand up to the monster forearm and see if I could take it. Well, Big George lay back and threw a really good one at me. After it hit we both were standing there looking at each other with expressions of disbelief. He reared back and threw another one. The results were the same. I remember a huge grin busting out on my face. That's because I came to the realization that I was going to have it easy for the rest of the season. Not in practice but in the games. I would never run into anyone better and more powerful than Big George in a game. This was the completion of my ascension from dork to semi-cool. The rest of the season we beat the crap out of everyone and went to the championship game. We proceeded to beat the crap out of Heidelberg and won the title. Man, it was absolutely wonderful. It also marked the beginning of the end of this era in my life. I graduated on June 8th, 1980 and thus moved on to a new time.
This era was the "sowing my oats" time. I spent a couple of semesters dabbling at the university thing but dropped out for good in '82 Now, I was never a really wild one but I did venture into parts of the world that were very fun but also potentially dangerous. This time ran from when I turned 18 until we moved to the States in '88 then was 25 years old. During this period I was working and living the Heavy Metal life. I worked mostly evenings and nights so I didn't get to see my family much but we kids, my two brothers and my sister (all younger than me) would go out on weekends. I would often go out after working the second shift. It was ideal. I'd get to the bar or club between 11pm and midnight. The only people left out at this time were the hard-core headbangers. I'd stay out 'till closing, drag my ass in around 5am, sleep till around 2pm, then I'd get up and do it all over again. I met a lot of very fun and interesting people over this journey from boy to man. We lived in a number of different places in this era. From '80 to '82 in K-Town, then from '82 to '87 in Neu Ulm, from '87 to '88 in Frankfurt. Also during this time my siblings and I were a rock/metal band that played some of the clubs and bars. We even went into a studio and cut a demo of 10 tracks which were all original songs written by us. The master tapes are somewhere in a box in my brother's house. This time in my life was very volatile but always moving and usually happy. Even when things were bad it was still good. This is the part of my list that I'd pick for the old, "if you could live your life over again..." thing.
Now we come to the longest period in my life. From '88 into 2000. Things started out with my transition from headbanger to a "responsible adult," whatever that is. There was the move from having a "job" to a "career." In '90 I got married. In 94' we bought a house. In '96 we had our son. I was living my life in the place I was born to be. I had a challenging job, interesting friends, a cool hobby (if anyone remembers the time when BBS's ruled the world), a home and a family. Unfortunately the foundation of this world was not solid. In fact it wasn't really there at all. It seems funny, locking back, that the longest era in my life had the least amount of joy (but it did have a LOT of Joy). Don't get me wrong, I was unbelievably happy when I got married and there is no way to describe the happiness of having our son. But all in all, it just seems to lay there on the track of history.
So, come to the present. It started off with "The Year From Hell." The systematic crumbling of my entire life and my whole world happened over this one year. Since then it's just been a slow decent into the abyss.
So let's see what a timeline would look line.
1962 - 1976 = 13 years (being born in November makes the numbers one off)That's about right, give or take. I might adjust some era's by a year or so if I were to talk to my family but this is close enough.
1976 - 1980 = 4 years
1980 - 1982 = 2 years
1982 - 1988 = 6 years
1988 - 2000 = 12 years
2000 - Now = 5 years
Well, that was a lot of writing. Took me three days to get it done. And what does this all say? Does it answer the title question? I don't know. Maybe if I put more time and effort into something that would be of interest to more than just myself. But I can't think of anything off-hand. I don't have the energy to follow the Linux community anymore, though I do wish I could. Maybe do something about or on Fibromyalgia? I don't know what more I could contribute to what is already out there. What else do I know? Sports. I know something about football and track as I did spend time coaching with my dad. But sports isn't about sports any more. It's about money and contracts and endorsements.
I don't know. Maybe there isn't anything useful I can contribute to the world anymore.
"Regards to Captain Dunsel"
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Slight misunderstandings
Last night I had made up my mind that I am going to retire from the IT profession. I wanted to let the people who knew me on the few lists I was still subscribed to know that i was signing off. So I wrote an email and sent it out. The subject was "I must say goodbye" and in it I talked about how my health situation was getting worst and I wouldn't have time to do anything anyway.
You see where this is going?
Wait for it...
Yep!
About an hour or so after I sent this email someone rings the doorbell. It was two members of the local county police. They had gotten a call from someone in Canada and were checking to see if I was pondering, or actually in the act of suicide. After assuring them that I was not going to harm myself or anyone else they went back to their beat. I went back and took a look at the email I sent and 'lo and behold the message did look quite like a suicidal person had sent it. I fired off another email to the same places to clarify my position.
It was kind of nice that someone actually cared enough to do something. I remember on /. a few years ago the story of a kid killing himself while on an chat room and webcam while people in the chat urged him on and did nothing to try and stop him.
You see where this is going?
Wait for it...
Yep!
About an hour or so after I sent this email someone rings the doorbell. It was two members of the local county police. They had gotten a call from someone in Canada and were checking to see if I was pondering, or actually in the act of suicide. After assuring them that I was not going to harm myself or anyone else they went back to their beat. I went back and took a look at the email I sent and 'lo and behold the message did look quite like a suicidal person had sent it. I fired off another email to the same places to clarify my position.
It was kind of nice that someone actually cared enough to do something. I remember on /. a few years ago the story of a kid killing himself while on an chat room and webcam while people in the chat urged him on and did nothing to try and stop him.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Holdout Imperial Army soldier 'not Japanese,' mediator says
"GENERAL SANTOS, The Philippines -- At least one of the two old men said to be former Japanese Imperial Army soldiers who have remained on Mindanao since the end of World War II 'is not Japanese,' Embassy officials in Manila said Monday."
Wow, cool.
Wow, cool.
Monday, May 30, 2005
Futagoyama Oyakata passed away
A little over two and a half hours ago, the former Sumo Ozeki ("Champion") Futagoyama, father of two Yokozuna ("Grand Champion") Takanohana II and Wakanohana III, passed away from cancer of the mouth. I didn't know him when he was active, only as the Oyakata ("coach"). But the descriptions of his last few months had a very similar parallel with the passing of my father some four years and three months ago. No one reading this is likely to know what I'm talking about but that's ok. I do, and that's enough.
[05/31/05] A good obituary for the Oyakata is in the Mainichi Daily News.
[05/31/05] A good obituary for the Oyakata is in the Mainichi Daily News.
Sleepless in Dale City
You know what's a real bitch (besides my ex-wife*)? That's when you get insomnia when you've taken a sleeping pill. What's worse is when you are up and at'em because you almost choked from aspirating gastric fluids into your lungs. That's how Jon Bonham, Bon Scott & Steve Clark all died. The only difference is that for me no alcohol was involved. So I'm up writing silliness for this communications venue. If I wasn't so broke I'd go buy something to take my mind off of everything. But I am so I can't. And for those of you out there who think you're broke, it's very likely that I would be able to live quite happily on your salary. Really.
*Hi there sweetie.
*Hi there sweetie.
"Computing for Fun and Profit"
by Joe Klemmer
New Rider Press ©200X
ISBN 0-000-00000-X
Table of Contents
Synopsis:
This book is for anyone who is in the computing field who would like to be able to make a better living for themselves. This is not for people who want to "get rich quick" nor for the dot com millionaires. This is for the working stiff cranking out code as an occupation. While this book doesn't specifically target those who code for the love of coding, there are aspects presented here that would still be of use to the Artisan Coder.
New Rider Press ©200X
ISBN 0-000-00000-X
Table of Contents
| Introduction | "Why write this book? | |
| Chapter 1 | "Define Computing" | |
| Chapter 2 | "Define Profit" | |
| Chapter 3 | "Areas of Expertise" | |
| Chapter 4 | "How to choose an Area of Expertise" | |
| Chapter 5 | "Making the best of what you have" | |
| Chapter 6 | "Success vs Profit" | |
| Chapter 7 | "Profit vs Wealth" | |
| Chapter 8 | "How best to 'enjoy' your Profit" | |
| Appendix A | "Myths of Computing" | |
| Appendix B | "Additional Resources" | |
| Appendix C | "Example Business Plan and Profit Timeline" | |
| Index |
This book is for anyone who is in the computing field who would like to be able to make a better living for themselves. This is not for people who want to "get rich quick" nor for the dot com millionaires. This is for the working stiff cranking out code as an occupation. While this book doesn't specifically target those who code for the love of coding, there are aspects presented here that would still be of use to the Artisan Coder.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Comments on the European GP
Man, what a finish! Though Kimi didn't get the poll this week, he was just "nicked" out by one of the local boys Nick Heidfeld, and after a restart due to some gearbox problems that left Giancarlo Fisichella stuck on the grid he rocketed out of the gate and took the lead right off. Fisichella had to do the restart from pit lane.
Then more fun. A small pile-up on the very first turn dropped a number of the field back and totally scrambled everything. The only casualty was Mark Webber's Williams-BMW.
After that it was a battle for second as Räikkönen did what he's done the past 3 races, pull his McLaren-Mercedes away from everyone. David Coulthard had his Red Bull car up in forth just before the first round of pit stops. When the leaders pealed off, it left the Englishman in first place. It seems that the team is really pushing for competitiveness. Unfortunately he was assessed a drive-through penalty for speeding in the pit lane. He was still able to finish 4th. Red Bull almost had both cars in the points but Vitantonio Liuzzi finished just 0.5 seconds behind the Toyota of Jarno Trulli. Trulli was also assessed a drive-through for having pit crew on the grid to long. The rules are that everyone of the crew must be off the track 15 seconds before the race.
Both Ferrari's were mired in the middle of the pack and got caught up in the first turn shenanigans. With some deft driving they both ended up in the points with Rubens taking a podium for third. Heidfeld brought his Williams-BMW in for second and Fernando Alonso drove his Renault in for his 4th win of the season.
You might be asking yourself, what happened to Kimi? If he took the lead and held onto it like a pit bull why didn't he finish first? It seems that the Flying Finn scuttled his own race. With about 5 or 6 laps to go, and leading by some 15 seconds, Kimi lost focus and locked up the front right which took him off onto the gravel. He easily came back on with no damage to the chassis but a huge flat spot on the right front tire. This caused a great amount of vibration and bouncing of that tire. With so few lamps to go and with Alonso still behind him he had no real option to do anything but stay out and hope things held together long enough to finish. While Alonso was gulping up massive amounts of distance it looked like the Finn would be able to hold on. But just as they started the final lap the damage was to much for the strut and it let go in a shower of carbon fiber. The wheel itself didn't blow but it did come pretty close to hitting Kimi in the head. Only the safety tether held it from any danger. So it was that he had to settle for eleventh.
So here's what things look like after a hair over a third of the season. The McLaren-Mercedes team is looking very strong. Especially Kimi. If he doesn't have mechanical problems he could conceivably be on a five race win streak. The Renaults are still looking good and there's promise for continued success this season. The team of the year so far has, in my eyes, been Red Bull. Save for Monaco they have scored points in every race. BAR-Honda seems to be in a stall that could threaten to become a tailspin. After their two race suspension they looked very mediocre in this outing.
Lastly we get to Ferrari. The last two races Michael and Rubins have both put in some good racing. The problem seems to be that they can't qualify high enough to make any use from it. The going theory is that the Bridgestone tires don't perform well until they have a good number of laps behind them. And with the one tire per race rule they can't work things out from testing to qualifying to race. I think, though, that they will start to come along the rest of the season. But it will be a miracle if Michael can hold onto his championship.
Now it's off to Canada in two weeks. I wish I could be there for that.
Then more fun. A small pile-up on the very first turn dropped a number of the field back and totally scrambled everything. The only casualty was Mark Webber's Williams-BMW.
After that it was a battle for second as Räikkönen did what he's done the past 3 races, pull his McLaren-Mercedes away from everyone. David Coulthard had his Red Bull car up in forth just before the first round of pit stops. When the leaders pealed off, it left the Englishman in first place. It seems that the team is really pushing for competitiveness. Unfortunately he was assessed a drive-through penalty for speeding in the pit lane. He was still able to finish 4th. Red Bull almost had both cars in the points but Vitantonio Liuzzi finished just 0.5 seconds behind the Toyota of Jarno Trulli. Trulli was also assessed a drive-through for having pit crew on the grid to long. The rules are that everyone of the crew must be off the track 15 seconds before the race.
Both Ferrari's were mired in the middle of the pack and got caught up in the first turn shenanigans. With some deft driving they both ended up in the points with Rubens taking a podium for third. Heidfeld brought his Williams-BMW in for second and Fernando Alonso drove his Renault in for his 4th win of the season.
You might be asking yourself, what happened to Kimi? If he took the lead and held onto it like a pit bull why didn't he finish first? It seems that the Flying Finn scuttled his own race. With about 5 or 6 laps to go, and leading by some 15 seconds, Kimi lost focus and locked up the front right which took him off onto the gravel. He easily came back on with no damage to the chassis but a huge flat spot on the right front tire. This caused a great amount of vibration and bouncing of that tire. With so few lamps to go and with Alonso still behind him he had no real option to do anything but stay out and hope things held together long enough to finish. While Alonso was gulping up massive amounts of distance it looked like the Finn would be able to hold on. But just as they started the final lap the damage was to much for the strut and it let go in a shower of carbon fiber. The wheel itself didn't blow but it did come pretty close to hitting Kimi in the head. Only the safety tether held it from any danger. So it was that he had to settle for eleventh.
So here's what things look like after a hair over a third of the season. The McLaren-Mercedes team is looking very strong. Especially Kimi. If he doesn't have mechanical problems he could conceivably be on a five race win streak. The Renaults are still looking good and there's promise for continued success this season. The team of the year so far has, in my eyes, been Red Bull. Save for Monaco they have scored points in every race. BAR-Honda seems to be in a stall that could threaten to become a tailspin. After their two race suspension they looked very mediocre in this outing.
Lastly we get to Ferrari. The last two races Michael and Rubins have both put in some good racing. The problem seems to be that they can't qualify high enough to make any use from it. The going theory is that the Bridgestone tires don't perform well until they have a good number of laps behind them. And with the one tire per race rule they can't work things out from testing to qualifying to race. I think, though, that they will start to come along the rest of the season. But it will be a miracle if Michael can hold onto his championship.
Now it's off to Canada in two weeks. I wish I could be there for that.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Comments on the Monaco GP
Man. There's nothing to say, really. Kimi Räikkönen truly was the Flying Finn as he almost swept all the "stats" for the race. He started at poll and led every lap of the race. The only thing he didn't get was fast lap, which was turned in my Michael Schumacher. Kimi had an almost 40 second lead with around 10 or so laps to go. He slowed up tremendously to save the tires and engine but still finished a hair under 14 seconds in front of Nick Heidfeld. Speaking of whom, Nick made a killer move to pass Fernando Alonso with only a few laps left to give Williams-BMW second. Of course Mark Webber in the other Williams car had to keep up so he passed Alonso a few laps after Nick, thus giving Williams two podium finishes. The two Ferrari's finished 7th and 8th to at least get some points. I figured that there'd be a much more competitive season for Ferrari but this isn't what anybody imagined.
And Bridgestone better hurry up and do something because they are getting thrashed this year.
If the McLaren's can keep from having the bad luck they've had over the last few years it looks like Kimi is ready fulfill the promise of being a championship caliber driver.
2005 Constructors Championship
Pos Constructor Points
1 Renault 63
2 McLaren-Mercedes 51
3 Toyota 43
4 Williams-BMW 35
5 Ferrari 21
6 Red Bull Racing 14
7 Sauber-Petronas 7
And Bridgestone better hurry up and do something because they are getting thrashed this year.
Meeting of minds, both large and small
Got an appointment with my sons teacher for tomorrow. The guidance counselor will be there, too, as well as my mother (in full Grandma mode). This is likely to be a windmill tilting day but I want it known that the school has gone to far with their handling of my son. Yes, he can be a little disruptive, but he's not a liar. Not when "Honesty in the Heart" is invoked. We'll see what happens but this late in the year I doubt the school will do anything. We are going to start thinking about what other schools might be available for him for next year.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Not happy right now
I am going to my sons school tomorrow to, politely and cordially, tear a new one for his teacher and the administration staff. I know my son isn't the most attentive student around, hell he won't shut-up and pay attention when he's home with me (until I get firm with him). But it now seems that he is getting labeled as a "Trouble Maker" so he gets blamed for just about everything that happens, even if he isn't in the room when it happens. I will not have this label pinned on him for the rest of his life just because some teachers and school staff don't know how to work with and teach boys. And if it gets into a "he said/she said" thing I have one big card I can play. That is there is a way to make sure that my son is telling the truth. I used this method on him today and he told me what is going on at school and, to be frank, I'm pi$$ed!
Grandma is coming as well. And if they think I'm bad they better run for their lives when she gets started. They are going to need Station 13 because she's going to light a serious fire under them.
Grandma is coming as well. And if they think I'm bad they better run for their lives when she gets started. They are going to need Station 13 because she's going to light a serious fire under them.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Tires do explode
Man, I have the worst luck. I started off driving the 1:15 drive to get to the server location. But the minute I got there I remembered that I forgot the keys. So it's another 1:20 back to get them. Now, with keys and rescue CD's and Sprite's to drink I'm on my way for a third trip. But halfway there the front end of my car started shaking quite violently. Then, without any ado, the left front explodes in a cloud of dust! Thankfully the traffic was extremely slow (there is a big annual Air Show this time of year). I pulled over to the side and got out to take a look. The tire really did explode. It took half of the side panel and blew it out perpendicular to the body of the car. And that's not the worst part. The explosion was strong enough to snap one of the four bolts that hold the tire on. The better luck came by way of this rally stoned guy who was walking on the interstate. It seems he had a fight with his wife and jumped out of the car just to get away. He helped me change to the doughnut. I was grateful for the help but I didn't really want to have to drive him somewhere. Thankfully his wife was driving by and pulled over. I proceeded home after that. So the server isn't fixed yet and the likelihood of it getting fixed before Friday are slim to none.
I hate the universe.
I hate the universe.
Being lazy can be inconvenient
I desperately need to go fix my server. Being without email for 5 days is really quite painful. It's just that the box is CoLo'ed a hefty drive from here. I don't want to drive up there but it's not like I have to many choices. Still, I've been finding excuses not to get ready and going (like this blog entry, for one). But it's time to pay the piper. I'm on my way in about 30 minutes; just need to shower, get ready & go. Thankfully my brother stopped by earlier to give me some money for gas. I know I could have made it up there but making it back would have been problematic.
Ok, off in to the shower I go.
Ok, off in to the shower I go.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
I could use some help
It's tough being a parent.
It's tougher being a single parent.
It's tougher still to be a disabled single parent.
Don't even ask about being an out of work disabled single parent.
My son is having some "discipline" issues at school. Not that he's causing fights and such, he just won't shut-up. Talking and not listening to the teachers are his two major problem areas. And I know why. Part of it has to do with the environment he's in; the stress that I'm under is wearing, though I try to keep it from getting to him. But the biggest reason is that he's bored. The school work is just to easy for him. Now, every parent wants to think they have an exceptional child who is brilliant and destined to be some great person. While I know my son is quite advanced academic, he's not some ultra-mega wunderkind. He is just finishing up 2nd grade but had already been reading at 5th grade level when the school year started. And don't even try to keep up with him in math, too. I know that he could be doing much more advanced work. I know because I have tried to supplement his homework with extra work and it's all in the 4th & 5th grade level. But this doesn't give him a free pass. He still needs to learn to control himself better. Just because he can talk and play while doing his schoolwork or homework without it affecting his work doesn't mean he should be going it.
We were finally able to get him back into TKD so I'm hoping that the discipline he's (re)learning there will help. OC, there's only about a month left in school so this won't make a great difference for this year. But if he goes to TKD all summer he should be in better shape for 3rd grade. My ex had an idea today about looking into a private school. She mentioned a Catholic school as an option. While these aren't the schools of yore, as in they can't punish the kids anymore, it might still be good because they tend to have an accelerated curriculum when compared to the public schools.
The frustrating part is that I know I could be doing much more for him with this. If I were either not disabled or not single then things would be much better. For both of us. It would help if I were working. Not as much as the other two but having money around to buy food and such is not a bad thing. I see no way out of this but there's nothing I can do about that either. So tomorrow I'll get up and go looking for work and try to find some info on private schools. Not to mention the mountain of other things I need to do one of these days.
It's tougher being a single parent.
It's tougher still to be a disabled single parent.
Don't even ask about being an out of work disabled single parent.
My son is having some "discipline" issues at school. Not that he's causing fights and such, he just won't shut-up. Talking and not listening to the teachers are his two major problem areas. And I know why. Part of it has to do with the environment he's in; the stress that I'm under is wearing, though I try to keep it from getting to him. But the biggest reason is that he's bored. The school work is just to easy for him. Now, every parent wants to think they have an exceptional child who is brilliant and destined to be some great person. While I know my son is quite advanced academic, he's not some ultra-mega wunderkind. He is just finishing up 2nd grade but had already been reading at 5th grade level when the school year started. And don't even try to keep up with him in math, too. I know that he could be doing much more advanced work. I know because I have tried to supplement his homework with extra work and it's all in the 4th & 5th grade level. But this doesn't give him a free pass. He still needs to learn to control himself better. Just because he can talk and play while doing his schoolwork or homework without it affecting his work doesn't mean he should be going it.
We were finally able to get him back into TKD so I'm hoping that the discipline he's (re)learning there will help. OC, there's only about a month left in school so this won't make a great difference for this year. But if he goes to TKD all summer he should be in better shape for 3rd grade. My ex had an idea today about looking into a private school. She mentioned a Catholic school as an option. While these aren't the schools of yore, as in they can't punish the kids anymore, it might still be good because they tend to have an accelerated curriculum when compared to the public schools.
The frustrating part is that I know I could be doing much more for him with this. If I were either not disabled or not single then things would be much better. For both of us. It would help if I were working. Not as much as the other two but having money around to buy food and such is not a bad thing. I see no way out of this but there's nothing I can do about that either. So tomorrow I'll get up and go looking for work and try to find some info on private schools. Not to mention the mountain of other things I need to do one of these days.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Another anniversary
I just noticed that this month marks another anniversary. It was three years ago this month that the divorce between my ex and myself was final. Technically it's three years and eight days as of today. I have to say that I would not recommend anyone go through this if they can help it. If there were some way of making prospective engaged couples experience even a relatively easy divorce, like the one we had, it would help cut down the number of divorces (and marriages, for that matter).
Monday, May 16, 2005
Observations on vocal comparisons between the Thai language and Mandarin Chinese as they relate to the English language and English language speakers
(How's that for a long title?)
Over the last few years I have been learning a little Thai and Mandarin. They are both tonal languages and both have certain characters that make sounds not present in the English language. What I am going to talk about is how they compare to the English language. More specifically, how the pronunciation of each compares to the English language speakers ability to form the requisite sounds for each language.
Let's start with the similarities. While both Thai and Mandarin have more letters in their alphabets, many of the sounds they make are very much the same as various English language letters. A randomly selected example might be; W, D, O, T, B. There are equivalent sounds in all three languages for what these letters represent in English. Now, by letter I mean characters. In both the Thai and Mandarin writing systems the characters actually represent words or concepts, especially in Mandarin. A "real world" example of the "same sound" would be my name, Joe. In Thai there are two characters that, when combined, make the sound that is the same as my name. Interestingly, in Thai the character for the "O" sound comes before the one for the "J" sound. But that's getting ahead of myself. The reality is that most of the sounds made by these languages are very similar across the board. However...
The differences are where the fun begins. First off, the number of characters in the languages are interesting in their differences. English has 26 letters in our alphabet: 5/6 vowels & 21/20 consonants (that damned "and sometimes Y" thing keeps things from being completely clean). The Thai language has 44 consonants & 24 vowels. Plus some special characters we'll get into shortly. Mandarin has, it is estimated, some 40-50,000 characters! There's a rule of thumb that you need to know a minimum of 3,000 to be able to communicate and 6,000 to read a news paper. But if you are learning the language phonetically it's not as important how many characters there are. You only need to know the sounds. This makes it much easer, as the Pimsleur Approach has shown.
Second, while there are similar sounds there are also unique sounds that are not made in the English language. Sounds, which are often so different, the English speaker is unable to correctly form their mouth, tongue, lips, etc. in order to make the sound. This seems to be more prevalent in Mandarin than in Thai. Because of the complexity of Thai and Mandarin, the slightest variation in the way you hold your lips or position your tongue can mean the difference between communicating and just making strange sounds. This goes both ways, though. There are some sounds in the English language that are difficult for native Thai and Mandarin speakers to make. In both cases, Thai/Mandarin -> English and English -> Thai/Mandarin, the trouble comes partly from the fact that the native speakers mouth/lips/tongue/etc. are not used to the subjectively strange positions they need to be in in order to make the correct sound. As a simple example, there is a sound that is most closely approximated by an native English speaker by saying the "U" while spreading your lips in as wide a smile as possible. This is a learned trait and becomes more pronounced the longer someone has only spoken their native language. Young children up to teens are much more able to adapt themselves to handle the sounds made in both languages. This is why you find that older people tend to have a more pronounced accent to their speech when speaking a non-native language. A person could have their first 20 years immersed in their "native" language then another 30 in their "second" language yet will likely still have an accent that can be heard in their speech.
Finally, and most importantly, there are the tones. Both Thai and Mandarin are tonal languages. This means that the tone used when saying a word or phrase will change the meaning, often quite drastically. Thai has five tones while Mandarin has four. In Thai the tones are mid-level, low falling, high, and raising. In Mandarin the tones are high, rising, falling~raising, and falling. The third tone here starts out high then falls to low and then raises back up. Tones are the most difficult thing that English speakers have to learn. When you start out the tones are imperceptible; they all sound the same. But, with practice and help, they can eventually be heard and even spoken. I can speak some of the phrases in Thai that I have learned with no accent. Sometimes I am mistaken as being fluent in Thai by some native Thai speakers. They quickly learn that I am far from that. But I take it as a compliment.
So what does this all mean? My limited exposure to the two languages leads me to believe that Thai speakers will have an easier time speaking English than those who speak Mandarin. Conversely, it will be easier for English language natives to speak Thai than Mandarin. This is true only when not considering the tones. Factoring the tones in the Thai/Mandarin -> English is much easier than the other way. This is not unique, really. I also happen to know a lot of German plus some Italian & French. From the perspective of being able to be understood, it is much easier to go from pretty much any language to English.
Over the last few years I have been learning a little Thai and Mandarin. They are both tonal languages and both have certain characters that make sounds not present in the English language. What I am going to talk about is how they compare to the English language. More specifically, how the pronunciation of each compares to the English language speakers ability to form the requisite sounds for each language.
Let's start with the similarities. While both Thai and Mandarin have more letters in their alphabets, many of the sounds they make are very much the same as various English language letters. A randomly selected example might be; W, D, O, T, B. There are equivalent sounds in all three languages for what these letters represent in English. Now, by letter I mean characters. In both the Thai and Mandarin writing systems the characters actually represent words or concepts, especially in Mandarin. A "real world" example of the "same sound" would be my name, Joe. In Thai there are two characters that, when combined, make the sound that is the same as my name. Interestingly, in Thai the character for the "O" sound comes before the one for the "J" sound. But that's getting ahead of myself. The reality is that most of the sounds made by these languages are very similar across the board. However...
The differences are where the fun begins. First off, the number of characters in the languages are interesting in their differences. English has 26 letters in our alphabet: 5/6 vowels & 21/20 consonants (that damned "and sometimes Y" thing keeps things from being completely clean). The Thai language has 44 consonants & 24 vowels. Plus some special characters we'll get into shortly. Mandarin has, it is estimated, some 40-50,000 characters! There's a rule of thumb that you need to know a minimum of 3,000 to be able to communicate and 6,000 to read a news paper. But if you are learning the language phonetically it's not as important how many characters there are. You only need to know the sounds. This makes it much easer, as the Pimsleur Approach has shown.
Second, while there are similar sounds there are also unique sounds that are not made in the English language. Sounds, which are often so different, the English speaker is unable to correctly form their mouth, tongue, lips, etc. in order to make the sound. This seems to be more prevalent in Mandarin than in Thai. Because of the complexity of Thai and Mandarin, the slightest variation in the way you hold your lips or position your tongue can mean the difference between communicating and just making strange sounds. This goes both ways, though. There are some sounds in the English language that are difficult for native Thai and Mandarin speakers to make. In both cases, Thai/Mandarin -> English and English -> Thai/Mandarin, the trouble comes partly from the fact that the native speakers mouth/lips/tongue/etc. are not used to the subjectively strange positions they need to be in in order to make the correct sound. As a simple example, there is a sound that is most closely approximated by an native English speaker by saying the "U" while spreading your lips in as wide a smile as possible. This is a learned trait and becomes more pronounced the longer someone has only spoken their native language. Young children up to teens are much more able to adapt themselves to handle the sounds made in both languages. This is why you find that older people tend to have a more pronounced accent to their speech when speaking a non-native language. A person could have their first 20 years immersed in their "native" language then another 30 in their "second" language yet will likely still have an accent that can be heard in their speech.
Finally, and most importantly, there are the tones. Both Thai and Mandarin are tonal languages. This means that the tone used when saying a word or phrase will change the meaning, often quite drastically. Thai has five tones while Mandarin has four. In Thai the tones are mid-level, low falling, high, and raising. In Mandarin the tones are high, rising, falling~raising, and falling. The third tone here starts out high then falls to low and then raises back up. Tones are the most difficult thing that English speakers have to learn. When you start out the tones are imperceptible; they all sound the same. But, with practice and help, they can eventually be heard and even spoken. I can speak some of the phrases in Thai that I have learned with no accent. Sometimes I am mistaken as being fluent in Thai by some native Thai speakers. They quickly learn that I am far from that. But I take it as a compliment.
So what does this all mean? My limited exposure to the two languages leads me to believe that Thai speakers will have an easier time speaking English than those who speak Mandarin. Conversely, it will be easier for English language natives to speak Thai than Mandarin. This is true only when not considering the tones. Factoring the tones in the Thai/Mandarin -> English is much easier than the other way. This is not unique, really. I also happen to know a lot of German plus some Italian & French. From the perspective of being able to be understood, it is much easier to go from pretty much any language to English.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
One year on Blogger
I just noticed that I'm coming up on my first anniversary with Blogger. While I started "blogging" on Kuro5hin in 2001 and moved to .Mac using iBlog in late 2003, it is here on Blogger that things seem to fit best. K5 was quite good for a while but it, as with anything that gets popular, got inundated by idiots whose sole purpose was to try and disrupt everything that happened on K5. iBlog was a fantastic tool and had all kinds of features but it only ran on a Mac and worked best with a .Mac account. Now, I have both a Mac and a .Mac account but it is just much easier to blog from anywhere using just about any system. So, in just a few days it'll be one year. WhooHoo!
On the cover of a Newhouse Story
A few weeks ago I received an email from a reporter who was doing a story on only children. Somehow she found this blog and, noting that I have an only child, wanted to interview me for said story. Initially I was surprised that she actually found this place but I agreed to a phone interview. It went well and I thought, "I could be in a news publication that wasn't techie or Linux specific. Far out." Shortly after the interview she called back and asked if it would be ok to have a photographer come out and take some pictures with the potential of having one appear in the article. Again I thought, "Even farther out." The photographer came over and took about a thousand pictures of everything from me picking my son up from school, us doing his homework, us playing PS2, and just hanging out in the back yard. About two weeks later the article was published. It is available on the Newhouse website at -
http://www.newhouse.com/archive/melendez050605.html.
It not the cover of the Rolling Stone but it seems that I am getting my 15 minutes of fame in 30 second increments. :-)
http://www.newhouse.com/archive/melendez050605.html.
It not the cover of the Rolling Stone but it seems that I am getting my 15 minutes of fame in 30 second increments. :-)
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Comments on the Spanish GP
The Flying Finn just crushed everyone else. Kimi started from P1 and never lost the lead of the race. Fernando Alonzo, the obvious crowd favorite rocketed out of the gate, as the Renaults are wont to do, and jumped from P3 blasting past Mark Webber who started in P2. The Ferrari's didn't fair well this time out. Rubens ended up just out of the points at 9 while Michael left on lap 46 with some major tire failures. As for Kimi, he had been saying that the McLaren-Mercedes was much better than the field if it could finish a race. And he was right.
As for the Championships, it looks like the Schumacher/Ferrari dominance will finally be broken. While it's still very early in the season there's good indications that we will have a new Drivers Champion in what seems like a hundred years. Time will tell.
As for the Championships, it looks like the Schumacher/Ferrari dominance will finally be broken. While it's still very early in the season there's good indications that we will have a new Drivers Champion in what seems like a hundred years. Time will tell.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Extremely late comments on the San Marino GP
I didn't get to see it but the race was a scorcher. Renault won for the fourth time in as many races and Fernando Alonso took his third straight win but only by 0.2s over Michael Schumacher in the new Ferrari F2005. Ferrari had been running the F2004 car for the first 4 races due to some issues with the F2005. But it seems to have been ironed out. Maybe. Rubens Barrichello went out on lap 18 of the 62 lap race with "electrical problems."
Jenson Button and Takuma Sato disqualified from third and fifth respectively following a BAR weight infringement. Thursday the BAR-Honda team was handed a two-race suspension due to the infringement. Additionally, a 25-second penalty was added to Ralf Schumacher's race time for an unsafe pit lane maneuver. This took him from what could have been a sixth place finish to just out of the points in ninth. Team Toyota will not be happy with that.
Red Bull Racing finished in the points again and have now scored points in every race so far. Granted it's not been at the same level as Renault. The former Jaguar-Cosworth team has scored 7, 4, 1 and 1 points for a total of 13. However, that is enough to put them in sixth place in the Constructors Championship.
Jenson Button and Takuma Sato disqualified from third and fifth respectively following a BAR weight infringement. Thursday the BAR-Honda team was handed a two-race suspension due to the infringement. Additionally, a 25-second penalty was added to Ralf Schumacher's race time for an unsafe pit lane maneuver. This took him from what could have been a sixth place finish to just out of the points in ninth. Team Toyota will not be happy with that.
Red Bull Racing finished in the points again and have now scored points in every race so far. Granted it's not been at the same level as Renault. The former Jaguar-Cosworth team has scored 7, 4, 1 and 1 points for a total of 13. However, that is enough to put them in sixth place in the Constructors Championship.
Now it's on to Spain, where there's sure to be one or two people cheering for Alonso.
2005 Drivers Championship
Pos Driver Nationality Team Points
1 Fernando Alonso Spanish Renault 36
2 Jarno Trulli Italian Toyota 20
3 Giancarlo Fisichella Italian Renault 10
3= Michael Schumacher German Ferrari 10
5 Nick Heidfeld German Williams-BMW 9
5= Ralf Schumacher German Toyota 9
5= David Coulthard British Red Bull Racing 9
5= Mark Webber Australian Williams-BMW 9
9 Rubens Barrichello Brazilian Ferrari 8
9= Juan Pablo Montoya Colombian McLaren-Mercedes 8
11 Kimi Räikkönen Finnish McLaren-Mercedes 7
12 Alexander Wurz Austrian McLaren-Mercedes 6
13 Jacques Villeneuve Canadian Sauber-Petronas 5
14 Pedro de la Rosa Spanish McLaren-Mercedes 4
15 Christian Klien Austrian Red Bull Racing 3
16 Felipe Massa Brazilian Sauber-Petronas 2
17 Vitantonio Liuzzi Italian Red Bull Racing 1
2005 Constructors Championship
Pos Constructor Points
1 Renault 46
2 Toyota 29
3 McLaren-Mercedes 25
4 Ferrari 18
4= Williams-BMW 18
6 Red Bull Racing 13
7 Sauber-Petronas 7
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
On Telecommuting
[If this seems semi-coherent that's because it's 3am. But I believe the idea behind this is sound.]
It seems that I am not quite setup for telecommuting. Not from the technical aspect. I got all the hardware and software I would need to do the kind of work I do. It's more like the world isn't quite organized and ready for it. Very few organizations have a defined policy for it and those that do have such widely desperate methodologies it's a wonder that anything could get done. Someone needs to organize and create a simple plan that can be used by everyone to build their policies on. It's true that the actual needs and technical situations of every organization will be different but the overall policy can be done as a framework upon which the specific needs can be fairly simple to merge. People forget that a policy is not supposed to be a technical guideline but a methodology to use for creating or using whatever the policy covers. I'll bet dollars to donuts that there is already an ISO policy for telecommuting. I'll also bet that it's not used by many, if any, organizations. This leads to the splintering effect and to what we have today. If there were some way to develop/implement/enforce a policy across the board then maybe I could get a job where I could be all setup to telecommute.
It seems that I am not quite setup for telecommuting. Not from the technical aspect. I got all the hardware and software I would need to do the kind of work I do. It's more like the world isn't quite organized and ready for it. Very few organizations have a defined policy for it and those that do have such widely desperate methodologies it's a wonder that anything could get done. Someone needs to organize and create a simple plan that can be used by everyone to build their policies on. It's true that the actual needs and technical situations of every organization will be different but the overall policy can be done as a framework upon which the specific needs can be fairly simple to merge. People forget that a policy is not supposed to be a technical guideline but a methodology to use for creating or using whatever the policy covers. I'll bet dollars to donuts that there is already an ISO policy for telecommuting. I'll also bet that it's not used by many, if any, organizations. This leads to the splintering effect and to what we have today. If there were some way to develop/implement/enforce a policy across the board then maybe I could get a job where I could be all setup to telecommute.
Monday, May 02, 2005
Car accidents
My son was in a car accident this morning. His second mother (it's a long story) was bringing him home so he could go to school and some kid who was speeding ran into them. Thankfully no one was seriously hurt. The kid had to go to the emergency room. My son was quite a bit shaken up, this was his second accident but this time he was in the front seat. The pickup he was in didn't have a back seat. The air-bags deployed but he had already turned his head away so it just got him in the cheek. His ankle was bruised or sprained, the kid hit the passengers side of the pickup. Anyway, we kept hi home today and are going to take him in for a "just-to-be-safe" doctor visit tomorrow. Hhmmm... I should try and remember to call the school about tomorrow.
It all reminded me of the accidents I'd been in over the years. Most were fender benders but two were significant. One was when a guy pushed me off of the road into snow and ice which caused the car to crash into the middle guard rail, slide right over two lanes and hit a small snow bank at the foot of a retaining wall. I was ok but the car was totaled. It was my sisters car. She'd only had it for a couple of weeks. She was not amused.
The other one was fairly serious. My head when through the front window and everyone in the car was hurt to some degree. Nothing bad enough for hospital but more than just a little bump. The passengers were my two brothers and our sister. Afterwards I was very shaken up, mostly about the fact that I could have caused one of my siblings to be critically hurt or worse. The cause, though, was the right front tire blew out on a snow covered road. We went down a 12 to 15 foot embankment where the care ended up lying on the drivers side after doing a couple of rolls. There was more but these were the highlights. For weeks after I could still see the car rolling whenever I'd close my eyes.
It all reminded me of the accidents I'd been in over the years. Most were fender benders but two were significant. One was when a guy pushed me off of the road into snow and ice which caused the car to crash into the middle guard rail, slide right over two lanes and hit a small snow bank at the foot of a retaining wall. I was ok but the car was totaled. It was my sisters car. She'd only had it for a couple of weeks. She was not amused.
The other one was fairly serious. My head when through the front window and everyone in the car was hurt to some degree. Nothing bad enough for hospital but more than just a little bump. The passengers were my two brothers and our sister. Afterwards I was very shaken up, mostly about the fact that I could have caused one of my siblings to be critically hurt or worse. The cause, though, was the right front tire blew out on a snow covered road. We went down a 12 to 15 foot embankment where the care ended up lying on the drivers side after doing a couple of rolls. There was more but these were the highlights. For weeks after I could still see the car rolling whenever I'd close my eyes.
Lots of stuff I can't remember
There's been so many things I wanted to post on here but just keep forgetting to. Hell, I still haven't even seen the results from the F1 race two weekends ago. Here's some things I can remember...
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Ok, I can't remember squat. I should carry something around with me like a mini-tape recorder so I can at least get the idea or subject I am thinking about down for possible future postings. I have one of these around somewhere. It's probably in a box in the garage with all the other crap I can't find. Oh well... A lot happened today so I'll post separate entries for them.
Unless I forget.
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Ok, I can't remember squat. I should carry something around with me like a mini-tape recorder so I can at least get the idea or subject I am thinking about down for possible future postings. I have one of these around somewhere. It's probably in a box in the garage with all the other crap I can't find. Oh well... A lot happened today so I'll post separate entries for them.
Unless I forget.
Monday, April 04, 2005
Head meets desk; desk wins - II
Just another angle. Man, it hurt. But it does look cool with all that blood running down and all.
Head meets desk; desk wins - I
Yes, I really did fall asleep at my desk and crack my head open on it.
[UPDATE 04/05/2005 16:28] - I did not post these pictures to garner sympathy. I posted them because they look cool. I have pictures of a number of injuries I've sustained over the last few decades, all of which I think look cool. Unfortunately most of them got lost along the way.
[UPDATE 04/05/2005 16:28] - I did not post these pictures to garner sympathy. I posted them because they look cool. I have pictures of a number of injuries I've sustained over the last few decades, all of which I think look cool. Unfortunately most of them got lost along the way.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
No one here gets out alive
Life is really kickin' me in the teeth. I haven't heard anything from the guys in PA, though they are set to pay me through May. My financial situation has come to a head. With the severe loss of income going back as far as last September I have gotten myself in a really big hole. My checking account is perpetually in the red now and the money coming in isn't enough to get out. I know how it happened but I don't know how to get out. Due to income limitations enforced by OPM I will never be able to make more than $41K/yr gross. My disability annuity is just under $20K/yr gross. Now $61K doesn't sound to bad (though if I were healthy I could be earning around $100K). The problem is that this is the theoretical maximum I can earn. In reality, due to sick days and now 4 months of unemployment, my actual take-home pay is closer to $35K net. With the debts I have due to the whole "Year From HellTM" and the subsequent unemployment for two years (not to mention being homeless for one of those year) almost all of the money I get is sucked up really fast. Now I have bills that are two and three months late. Add to that a $10.8K credit card debt (again, thanks to the "Year From HellTM") and there's nothing left for anything other than rent. The thing that really burns me is that I can't just go out and get any old job. I can't even push burgers & fries. My disability is now to the point where I can't even cook dinner or load the dish washer or do laundry anything like that. I'm becoming a hermit, trapped in my home. If it weren't for my son I'd probably just waste my life away on some park bench.
It feels like I'm stuck in quicksand. I'm going down for the third time and there's no one at the lifeguard station.
It feels like I'm stuck in quicksand. I'm going down for the third time and there's no one at the lifeguard station.
Musings on the Malaysian Grand Prix
So far this season is not exactly burning up the track. I don't like the new rules for tires and engines. It was so hot during this race that no one wanted to do any hard driving for fear of losing their tires. Fernando Alonso started at poll and pretty much went wire to wire to win the race. The interesting news was that both the Toyota and Red Bull (nee Jordan) teams finished in the points while Ferrari had another dismal outing. They are planning on running the F2005 in Bahrain so maybe we'll see some more of the red cars in the points.
Anyway, that's good enough for now. You can find more info on the F1 site at http://www.formula1.com/.
Anyway, that's good enough for now. You can find more info on the F1 site at http://www.formula1.com/.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Minor rant on the Australian Grand Prix
I don't feel like doing an in depth commentary so here's a quick rant.
First the results; Giancarlo Fisichella won for only the second time in his carrier. The first one was a back-handed win in Brazil a number of years ago. This was his first real "I get to stand on the podium" win. Michael started last due to an engine change and didn't finish the race. Ferrari still got a 2nd place with good ol' Rubens Barrichello. The only other thing of note was David Coulthard finishing 4th and Christian Klien taking 7th to give the brand new Red Bull Racing team enough points to put them 3rd in the constructors race. But even with this the race was quite uneventful.
Now, on to the rant; Here we have another F1 season just beginning. And what would be an F1 season without some new anti-Schumacher-Ferrari rule changes. This is the third year that the FIA has passed idiotic rule changes just to keep the champions from winning. This year, among others, there's a new rule that you have to keep the same set of tired from practice through the race and you have to use the same engine from practice through two races. I'm waiting for the "everyone gets to use F1 spec engines but Ferrari much use go-cart engines" rule. Or the "the Ferrari team has to start each race with -10 points, -7 for Michael and -3 for Rubens" rule.
Anyway, with luck Malaysia will be more interesting.
First the results; Giancarlo Fisichella won for only the second time in his carrier. The first one was a back-handed win in Brazil a number of years ago. This was his first real "I get to stand on the podium" win. Michael started last due to an engine change and didn't finish the race. Ferrari still got a 2nd place with good ol' Rubens Barrichello. The only other thing of note was David Coulthard finishing 4th and Christian Klien taking 7th to give the brand new Red Bull Racing team enough points to put them 3rd in the constructors race. But even with this the race was quite uneventful.
Now, on to the rant; Here we have another F1 season just beginning. And what would be an F1 season without some new anti-Schumacher-Ferrari rule changes. This is the third year that the FIA has passed idiotic rule changes just to keep the champions from winning. This year, among others, there's a new rule that you have to keep the same set of tired from practice through the race and you have to use the same engine from practice through two races. I'm waiting for the "everyone gets to use F1 spec engines but Ferrari much use go-cart engines" rule. Or the "the Ferrari team has to start each race with -10 points, -7 for Michael and -3 for Rubens" rule.
Anyway, with luck Malaysia will be more interesting.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Migrating and developing new applications for Linux
IBM is having a couple of one day or half day sessions on various topics through it's IBM developerWorks program. One of the topics in their "Technical briefings" series is "Migrating and developing new applications for Linux". Specifically -
"Migrating and developing new applications for Linux"
2005 Mar 08 (09:00 to 12:45)
Washington DC Area, District of Columbia, United States IBM Facility
12902 Federal Systems Park Drive
Fairfax, VA 22033
You can find a map for it on Google Maps.
The main page for all of the IBM developerWorks Technical briefings and Events is at http://www-106.ibm.com/developerworks/offers/techbriefings/.
I don't know how I'm going to get there but I am going to try for this specific event.
"Migrating and developing new applications for Linux"
2005 Mar 08 (09:00 to 12:45)
Washington DC Area, District of Columbia, United States IBM Facility
12902 Federal Systems Park Drive
Fairfax, VA 22033
You can find a map for it on Google Maps.
The main page for all of the IBM developerWorks Technical briefings and Events is at http://www-106.ibm.com/developerworks/offers/techbriefings/.
I don't know how I'm going to get there but I am going to try for this specific event.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
The ups and downs
Ever notice how people tend to use a roller coaster as the metaphor for life's travels? The whole up and down thing is understandable. But life tends to be a lot less forgiving than an amusement part ride. The ups and downs in life are far more intense and have much less warning. Closer to a rocket shot; straight up and straight down.
Right now I'm in the middle of limbo. The job in PA went very well but was a real killer. Nearly 4 weeks in a hotel away from my son... That's far to long a time to be away. Now I'm in wait state while the sales people are working out another gig. I did get my first paycheck from the new job and it was almost enough to catch me up on things. But I need new glasses and had to put down half for them to start making them. Now the glasses are in but I can't pick them up till I get more money in. Heh, as a side note this prescription is bifocal. Damn I'm getting old.
On a good note I have been on two dates since I got back. One was with the Chinese lady friend from way back. The other with a setup through that Together Dating. They both were nice and I hope to see them both again. I'm pretty sure I'll see the former but can only hope about the latter. The funny thing is I have four more "introductions" in my bag. I've setup dates with three of them but still need to touch base with the fourth. Next weekend is going to be very busy.
What else... I'm still hoping to start my plan. It's not going to be easy as it's far more likely I'll spend the days lying on the couch watching TV than trying to re-learn programming. It would be good for me if I did get back into hacking, though. And it is something I really like. The lack or motivation and, more critically, discipline is what's holding me back. I know it. You know it. Everyone knows it. But lazy is more than just a state of mind. It's a way of life. Well, for some of us it is.
Oh, before I forget, I started smoking the Eclipse cigarettes again. The Wellbutrin was working wonderfully but I ran out of the prescription while up in PA and the stress from the training and being away from my son was to much. I need to call the doctor and get it renewed this week.
Anyway, them's the highlights. I'll try and get on here more often but don't hold your breath. Remember, lazy is a way of life.
Right now I'm in the middle of limbo. The job in PA went very well but was a real killer. Nearly 4 weeks in a hotel away from my son... That's far to long a time to be away. Now I'm in wait state while the sales people are working out another gig. I did get my first paycheck from the new job and it was almost enough to catch me up on things. But I need new glasses and had to put down half for them to start making them. Now the glasses are in but I can't pick them up till I get more money in. Heh, as a side note this prescription is bifocal. Damn I'm getting old.
On a good note I have been on two dates since I got back. One was with the Chinese lady friend from way back. The other with a setup through that Together Dating. They both were nice and I hope to see them both again. I'm pretty sure I'll see the former but can only hope about the latter. The funny thing is I have four more "introductions" in my bag. I've setup dates with three of them but still need to touch base with the fourth. Next weekend is going to be very busy.
What else... I'm still hoping to start my plan. It's not going to be easy as it's far more likely I'll spend the days lying on the couch watching TV than trying to re-learn programming. It would be good for me if I did get back into hacking, though. And it is something I really like. The lack or motivation and, more critically, discipline is what's holding me back. I know it. You know it. Everyone knows it. But lazy is more than just a state of mind. It's a way of life. Well, for some of us it is.
Oh, before I forget, I started smoking the Eclipse cigarettes again. The Wellbutrin was working wonderfully but I ran out of the prescription while up in PA and the stress from the training and being away from my son was to much. I need to call the doctor and get it renewed this week.
Anyway, them's the highlights. I'll try and get on here more often but don't hold your breath. Remember, lazy is a way of life.
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Teen driving
Still stuck in the hotel, I'm flipping through the channels and run across Teen Kids News where teens product and report on different issues related to teens. One of the segments was on teen driving. The numbers and stats all show that, for teens between 15 and 18, traffic accidents are the #1 cause of death and injury. Most teens feel that they are good drivers and can (and should) be aloud to drive unrestricted once they pass their drivers test. Some states are implementing something called Graduated Drivers licenses (GDLs). These vary from state to state but generally have restricted driving hours, restricting the number of teen passengers and other limitations. These go until the drivers are 18 or over. The stats are that states implementing GDLs have up to 40% less teen traffic accidents/injuries/deaths.
I'm now 42 years old. But I can still remember when I got my license. It was a bit different than when kids get their licenses here in the US 'cause I got mine in Germany. I had to go through the Military driving program to get my license. This consisted of a 100 question test, 25 questions on general driving issues (rules for accidents, questions on registration, etc.), 25 on right-of-way (something that doesn't seem to exist here in the US) and 50 questions on traffic signs. Out of the 100 total questions you could not miss more than 4. Additionally you could only get your permit at 17, which limited you to being only aloud to drive with an instructor licensed driver (not just any licensed driver). You couldn't get your full license until you were 18 and passed the above test. I say all of this because even with all of these extra measures I was still an insane driver, just like every other teen driver. Taking way to many chances, driving to fast (though I rarely ever speeded because the Autobahn doesn't have a max speed limit, it does have a minimum speed limit), not paying attention and all the normal things that new teen drivers do. We have to learn to drive sometime but maybe it might be better if that sometime were later in life. I don't know when, later, maybe early 20's? Thankfully I'm not chosen to solve this issue.
A side not to the piece was the question, "Who would you feel safer with when driving a dangerous road? Another teen, your mother, your father or a grandparent." The answer kinda surprised me a little. 12% said teen, 14% said mother, 20% said father and 54% said grandparent. The reasoning was because the grandparent was such a slow driver. As I have gotten older I've seen how driving skills do get a little ragged around the edges when you get up there. My mother, who is 66 now, can still drive well but is recognizing that her night vision is getting worse and that there's a few things that are more difficult than they were years ago. When I was a teen I would have wanted my father behind the wheel. I hope that in 5 or 6 years my son will feel the same.
I'm now 42 years old. But I can still remember when I got my license. It was a bit different than when kids get their licenses here in the US 'cause I got mine in Germany. I had to go through the Military driving program to get my license. This consisted of a 100 question test, 25 questions on general driving issues (rules for accidents, questions on registration, etc.), 25 on right-of-way (something that doesn't seem to exist here in the US) and 50 questions on traffic signs. Out of the 100 total questions you could not miss more than 4. Additionally you could only get your permit at 17, which limited you to being only aloud to drive with an instructor licensed driver (not just any licensed driver). You couldn't get your full license until you were 18 and passed the above test. I say all of this because even with all of these extra measures I was still an insane driver, just like every other teen driver. Taking way to many chances, driving to fast (though I rarely ever speeded because the Autobahn doesn't have a max speed limit, it does have a minimum speed limit), not paying attention and all the normal things that new teen drivers do. We have to learn to drive sometime but maybe it might be better if that sometime were later in life. I don't know when, later, maybe early 20's? Thankfully I'm not chosen to solve this issue.
A side not to the piece was the question, "Who would you feel safer with when driving a dangerous road? Another teen, your mother, your father or a grandparent." The answer kinda surprised me a little. 12% said teen, 14% said mother, 20% said father and 54% said grandparent. The reasoning was because the grandparent was such a slow driver. As I have gotten older I've seen how driving skills do get a little ragged around the edges when you get up there. My mother, who is 66 now, can still drive well but is recognizing that her night vision is getting worse and that there's a few things that are more difficult than they were years ago. When I was a teen I would have wanted my father behind the wheel. I hope that in 5 or 6 years my son will feel the same.
Ruby on Rails and White Powder
No, it's not a gem show on a train with a cocaine chaser. From the O'Reilly site -
And on that note, I need to come up with a feedback/comment form for the training I'm doing. You know, was the material covered, did the instructor suck, was it worth attending... That kind of stuff. Unfortunately I am having a hell of a time coming up with something. Maybe I'll try google and see if I can't come up with an example or template.
As to the white powder, I'm sitting in a hotel room (blogging instead of working) surrounded by 6" to 8" of snow. The storm blew through very quickly, thank $DEITY, or else we'd have had 12" to 18". I remember the Blizzard of '94 and am not interested in playing that game again. Three feet of snow is four feet to many, if you ask me. My son is enjoying it, though. It's as easy to get him out of the snow as it is getting him out of the pool. Man, he'll stay in even though he's shivering so hard he can hardly talk and his whole body is blue. A definite water baby. Takes after his mom. While I enjoy the beach as much as the next person the whole "in the water" thing I can take or leave.
Well, it's way past my bedtime. Even though I don't have to get up for anything tomorrow, with the exception of the game (Go Steelers!), I'd prefer getting a couple of hours of sleep.
Rolling with Ruby on Rails by Curt Hibbs -- The Ruby community is abuzz about Rails, a web application framework that makes database-backed apps dead simple. What's the fuss? Is it worth the hype? Curt Hibbs shows off Rails, building a simple application that even non-Rubyists can follow.Now, I really like the design of ruby. It's got the power and abilities of perl with a clean and readable syntax like python. I just wish I had the time to learn it. Maybe with the new job I can work something out where I do some development. We'll have to see.
And on that note, I need to come up with a feedback/comment form for the training I'm doing. You know, was the material covered, did the instructor suck, was it worth attending... That kind of stuff. Unfortunately I am having a hell of a time coming up with something. Maybe I'll try google and see if I can't come up with an example or template.
As to the white powder, I'm sitting in a hotel room (blogging instead of working) surrounded by 6" to 8" of snow. The storm blew through very quickly, thank $DEITY, or else we'd have had 12" to 18". I remember the Blizzard of '94 and am not interested in playing that game again. Three feet of snow is four feet to many, if you ask me. My son is enjoying it, though. It's as easy to get him out of the snow as it is getting him out of the pool. Man, he'll stay in even though he's shivering so hard he can hardly talk and his whole body is blue. A definite water baby. Takes after his mom. While I enjoy the beach as much as the next person the whole "in the water" thing I can take or leave.
Well, it's way past my bedtime. Even though I don't have to get up for anything tomorrow, with the exception of the game (Go Steelers!), I'd prefer getting a couple of hours of sleep.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Life moves way to fast!
It's been a while since I've updated this blog. A lot has happened. Well, one thing has happened but it was a major life-altering thing. I got a job.
It's not just "a job" though. See, I've been working with and using Linux and open source since November 1991. I'm a big advocate of Linux and open source. I've participated in a number of open source projects, written articles and helped with the spreading of Linux whenever I can. This job is like a dream. I will be doing Linux/open source training, Linux/open source consulting and building Linux/open source solutions for companies. Can you believe it? I still can't. Right now I'm in PA doing three weeks of Linux training with the potential of some add-on consulting. It's been a little rough, though. It's been a while since I've done anything more than one day sessions but this first week seems to have gone well.
The one down side is that I'll be away from home for three and a half weeks. That's a long time away from my family, especially my son. That reminds me, I need to call him.
[...]
Ok, just got off the phone with him. He's doing good but misses me. I miss him very much. Thank $DEITY that my mother is there to watch him. If she wasn't I don't know if I could have taken this position. Another reason I wish I had a wife/girlfriend.
On that front, I believe that I'm going to give up looking for a woman. Not necessarily forever but for a while at least. It's to distracting. And it's not likely that I will ever find anyone anyway. Man, you know it's bad when your own mother also doesn't think I'll ever find a woman. Very depressing.
Which reminds me... I have run out of the Wellbutrin. The Doctor has said I need to see him again before continuing the prescription refilled. That's not likely to happen anytime soon as I won't be back for over two more weeks. Unfortunately the lack of the Wellbutrin has meant that I started smoking those damned Eclipse cigarettes.
Oh well, what the hell. Or as Miles says in Risky Business, sometimes you just have to say, "What the fuck."
It's not just "a job" though. See, I've been working with and using Linux and open source since November 1991. I'm a big advocate of Linux and open source. I've participated in a number of open source projects, written articles and helped with the spreading of Linux whenever I can. This job is like a dream. I will be doing Linux/open source training, Linux/open source consulting and building Linux/open source solutions for companies. Can you believe it? I still can't. Right now I'm in PA doing three weeks of Linux training with the potential of some add-on consulting. It's been a little rough, though. It's been a while since I've done anything more than one day sessions but this first week seems to have gone well.
The one down side is that I'll be away from home for three and a half weeks. That's a long time away from my family, especially my son. That reminds me, I need to call him.
[...]
Ok, just got off the phone with him. He's doing good but misses me. I miss him very much. Thank $DEITY that my mother is there to watch him. If she wasn't I don't know if I could have taken this position. Another reason I wish I had a wife/girlfriend.
On that front, I believe that I'm going to give up looking for a woman. Not necessarily forever but for a while at least. It's to distracting. And it's not likely that I will ever find anyone anyway. Man, you know it's bad when your own mother also doesn't think I'll ever find a woman. Very depressing.
Which reminds me... I have run out of the Wellbutrin. The Doctor has said I need to see him again before continuing the prescription refilled. That's not likely to happen anytime soon as I won't be back for over two more weeks. Unfortunately the lack of the Wellbutrin has meant that I started smoking those damned Eclipse cigarettes.
Oh well, what the hell. Or as Miles says in Risky Business, sometimes you just have to say, "What the fuck."
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