The Daily Grind

Unless I'm jinxing myself by saying this already, when I go to work tomorrow it will be the first full work week I've had since I don't remember. Missing all that work has made a real impact on my income. I only get paid for the hours I work. The last few paychecks were between half and 2/3's. I had to borrow money from my mother yesterday just to get gas in the car. Hopefully, with the warmer weather and the adjustments to the medication I'm on, I will be in much better shape and have a better chance of being able to work the hours I am supposed to.

There is one thing that annoys me on occasion. My ex-wife will complain that she's short on money and needs her girlfriend to work in order for them to have enough to live on. Yet I, with virtually the same net income, have to pay for almost everything related to our son (child care, school lunches, school clothes, health insurance/medical costs, food and lodging for the school year). Not to mention any extra curricular activities like Tae Kwon Do (tuition, uniform, testing, graduation, etc). It's just me and him in a house I am renting for $1180/mo while most of the time is her and her girlfriend in an apartment with a much lower rent and no child expenses. She does have a brand new car (well it's a 2001 Ford Taurus) and doesn't seem to have any trouble going out every other weekend or going to a concert.

But it's not the crying of "I'm so poor" that's the worst. It's the fact that she has someone there with her to help her with our son. If she's not feeling good her girlfriend can spend time and play with him. When I'm under the weather, which happens often due to the medical disability I have, I got no one to help me with him. He is such a sweet and intelligent boy, though. When I am hit hard (i.e. unable to get out of bed at all) he does a great job of taking are of me. He really is an incredible and wonderful child.

I get paid on the 15th so hopefully that will let me pay off the big-ass stack of bills sitting on the table. Playing the bill juggling game really sucks. After next week our son will be staying with his mother for the summer (I get him during the school year and we alternate every weekend and major holidays). It will be very difficult to be in the house alone. Last summer I spent the time lying on the couch watching crap on TV that sucked because I didn't even feel like moving enough to change the channel. This summer I am going to put forth an effort to get back into programming again. That and start going back to TKD again. It's been nearly a year since I've been there regularly. I am hoping that the hacking and TKD will keep me motivated enough so I don't fall into the "Pit of Despair" when he's not here.

And with a little luck I can kick this Eclipse habit that's stuck on me worse than white on rice. I was able to stop for a few months using Skoal but about two weeks ago I fell back into the cigarette's. There are just some days that you can't get through w/o something to give a little kick. What I need is a wife.