Thunk!

Or maybe Thud? Crash isn't right. Ker-plunk just doesn't do it either. I think that Thunk best describes my life. It's fallen out of control again and I've landed hard on reality.

You know, reality is really overrated. I've been on both sides of the line and while there's may good points about reality there's just as many good points about being stoned out of your mind on hash, for example. It's been a very long time since I had the pleasure of that reality. It's not a reality I'd want to experience these days, having a son and all. Aahh, but there are times when the carefree days of being young (say 19 to 25) are remembered fondly. At least those memories that are still accessible. Quite a bit of it is a blur, for obvious reasons. Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to go back to that time. It had it's own set of daemons I had to wrestle with.

Whoever said the youth is the best time if life was definitely stoned. The hardest and most painful time in life is the teen years followed closely by the early to mid twenties. With all the ups and downs and out-of-control'ness that happened during that time of life it makes it really bad sometimes. Everyone in there 30's and 40's would likely agree that their teen years were hard but they'd love to live them over again. What they mean is they'd love to live them over again with the knowledge and wisdom they have now. Hell, if I could go back and be 13 but keep all the knowledge and experience I have now I'd fucking rule the world!

Anyway, gotta get some sleep. It's not like I've got much to do now but I still need to get someone off to school in the morning.